Year 1981 1. Prince Charles got married 2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe 3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament. 4. Pope Died Year 2005 1. Prince Charles got married 2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe 3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament 4. Pope Died Lesson Learned? The next time Charles gets married, Someone warn the Pope.
Well tax time is in full force. We are starting to get a bit punchy at the office per usual for this time of year. It's all uphill from here. With me as the only gal with four guys giving me grief and lots to do, I look for ways to enjoy the days. We have a good time even when stressed for the most part. The guys at work are a good bunch and I enjoy what I do. I like my job and the guys I work with. I thought I'd share a bit of tax time humor with ya'll. Hopefully it will bring a...
A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck came along, too close to the curb, and completely tore off the driver's door of the Lexus. The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and it wasn't more than 5 minutes before a policeman pulled up. Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which...
My very good friend sent me this.....too funny and since we just had a new grandson who just had this done, pretty timely. Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on beds next to each other, Outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, What Are you here for?" The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a Little nervous." The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that one When I was four. They put you to...
God is sitting in Heaven when a scientist says to Him, "Lord, we don't need you anymore. Science has finally figured out a way to create life out of nothing. In other words, we can now do what you did in the 'beginning'." "Oh, is that so? Tell me..." replies God. "Well, " says the scientist, "we can take dirt and form it into the likeness of You and breathe life into it, thus creating man." "Well, that's interesting Show Me. " So the scientist bends down to the earth an...
An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing " on the blackboard and asked the students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: Woman, without her man, is nothing. The women wrote: Woman! Without her, man is nothing. Same words, much different meanings. Which is correct? hahahah....... depends on how you look at it.
It is important for those of all faiths to recognize these Four Religious Truths: 1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen people 2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. 3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian World. 4. Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters.
I got this today via email and laughed my butt off. I loved it remembering back when my kids were little and my husband would ask the same question thinking I was just playing with the kids all day. This is for all you moms out there......have a good one!!! A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was t...
1. I was forced to Bathe as a child 2. People who Bathe are hypocrites ; they think they are cleaner than everyone else. 3. There are so many kinds of soap. It is too confusing to have to choose. 4. I used to Bathe but it got so boring that I stopped 5. I still Bathe on special occasions , like Christmas and Easter 6. None of my friends Bathe. 7. I think I'll wait till I'm older to Bathe. 8. I really don't have t ime . 9. The bathroom is too col...
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain ...
I loved this! I got this joke from a friend today. Hillary and Obama were in a boat going down the river. The River was extremely rough. The boat capsized. Who was saved? AMERICA!
Got this from a friend and laughed. I guess you give then an inch (even if it's hair) and they will take whatever they can get. One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank you' card and a ...
I have a friend in Michagan who sent this. I thought it was cute and since I've never seen it before thought I'd share it. It's a story about Forrest Gump going to heaven. Here it is. FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper. St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a l...
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars." "And what does that tell you?" Holmes asked. Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. ...
Hmmm I wonder if Ethan will write something like this someday when asked what he did on his vacation? Sent to me by a friend who said this little story had us written all over it. AFTER CHRISTMAS, A TEACHER ASKED HER YOUNG PUPILS HOW THEY SPENT THEIR HOLIDAY AWAY FROM SCHOOL. ONE CHILD WROTE THE FOLLOWING: WE ALWAYS USED TO SPEND THE HOLIDAYS WITH GRANDMA AND GRANDPA. THEY USED TO LIVE IN A BIG BRICK HOUSE BUT GRANDPA GOT RETARDED AND THEY MOVED TO FLORIDA . NOW THEY ...