Well tax time is in full force. We are starting to get a bit punchy at the office per usual for this time of year. It's all uphill from here. With me as the only gal with four guys giving me grief and lots to do, I look for ways to enjoy the days. We have a good time even when stressed for the most part. The guys at work are a good bunch and I enjoy what I do. I like my job and the guys I work with.
I thought I'd share a bit of tax time humor with ya'll. Hopefully it will bring a smile to your face as you also begin to think about dishing out to Uncle Sam. Here ya go.......
A Boss sitting at a table says at a board meeting......."Does anyone else have an opinion that should be kept to themselves?"
One employee to another holding up a tape: "My boss gave me a motivation tape.....it's a recording of him firing people."
Senior CPA to Junior Accountant: "It has come to my attention that you have a life outside of this office."
Man walking his dog after dressing dog up in a business suit. "Honey, I'm taking the dog out do do his business."
Man to his bank loan officer...."I'd like a small business loan. I need $100 for a desk, $50 for a phone, and $200 million for miscellaneous." (Accountant's hate the misc. account.)
A couple sitting at a bank asking for a loan....."We'd like to spend our way out of bankruptcy."
A very stressed out man to his female boss....."I drank 40 cups of coffee to help me feel more creative!! Does hallucinating count as "thinking outside the box?"
A boss of a Cat Litter Company...."Remember......no thinking outside the box."
Senior Accountant to Jr Accountant (peon)....."How can I listen to you if you don't say the things I want to hear?"
An Auditor from the IRS......."Look!! Just because you don't understand it and I can't explain it, doesn't mean we don't enforce it!"
Man on the telephone..."I'm not allowed to "cook the books" anymore. Am I allowed to "warm them up" in the microwave?"
An accountant buying a cell phone is told by the employee at the store...."This light warns you that your battery may be critically low. And this light warns you that your conversation may be critically dull."
A boss to his young new accountant......"I believe in paying my employees as much as they need. Since you'll be working 90 hours a week.....You won't need much."
" A wife to her deadbeat husband...."I'm going to balance the checkbook. For reasons that escape me, there seems to be some money in it."
Computer salesman at trade show....."For online investors, our new keyboard has four extra buttons: BUY, SELL, PANIC and.....BRAG!!"
A man and woman at the altar: "Do you promise to love, honor , cherish and pay more tax than you did before?"
and my favorite.....
"Money is like manure.......spread it around and it does some good.....pile it up and it just stinks."