Comment from LW:

 

Then what exactly do you take issue with?  Other than the wife driving/internet access in the home, you've denied not a single allegation made there, insisting there is 'more to the story.'

Well, let's hear it then.

First you say you had no problem with the original article, but you *do* have a problem with the reaction to it?  What did you expect, Tim?  Should I have defended you?  Should I have locked the thread where others who were angered by your actions were expressing themselves?

You seem to be talking out of both sides of your mouth here...anything, anything at all to take the focus off of you and what you've done and direct it towards the way we reacted to it, as if you're the one who's been done wrong here.

I'm not buying it, and it doesn't seem like anyone else is, either.  Does that surprise you?

If rumours were taken as truth, why not lay them to rest WITH the truth?  Never mind, we don't 'deserve' that, as you've repeatedly asserted.  If I've been lied to by Brandie, her mother, her grandparents, or other residents of Lefors that I've been in contact with,  then please do set the record straight.

I will confront them about their lies as harshly as I've confronted you, and you can count on that, Gid.

But if you can't bring yourself to do that, to get it ALL out in the open, then I think I can speak for many of us when I say we no longer give a damn about the mysterious information you constantly allude to which would absolve you of blame and restore at least part of your reputation.

You're not guilty until proven innocent, Gid, but to date, you offered NOTHING in defense of your actions other than "I'm not perfect and you're all a bunch of imperfect assholes too, so there!"

If the situation didn't involve so many young, voiceless children, that sort of response might suffice.  But it's woefully inadequate in this situation, and you know it.  Still, you hold fast to the blame game....it's OUR fault, we 'lynched' you, we believed every 'rumor' (even those those alleged rumors came straight from the mouths of those who had personal, real life interaction with you) and therefore we're the bad guys here.

And just so YOU know, Gid, Brandie is not the only member of that family I speak to on the phone with some regularity, so if you do decide to give us the 'facts', you'd do well to keep that little fact in mind.

 

Yes I have, actually, you just haven't read everything apparently.




I don't know how I prove a negative, LW. Especially a negative that deals with past events. In a court of law, I have the benefit of bringing in witnesses to testify; here, it's not so cut and dry.

You want me to unload? OK, the grease splatters in the kitchen. While we may have added to their number, it was quite splattered when we arrived. I honestly did not know there was a way to remove them without stripping the paint and repainting the kitchen, which would have involved shutting down the kitchen for some time.

Or I could tell you about how the house was half sided with shake shingles, with piles of shingles remaining out front. Unfortunately those shingles had rotted from sitting outside for several years, and everytime we tried to put a nail in one it split.

Or how about the pits full of garbage left by the previous family in the yard that we had to haul off? Seems a case of the pot calling the kettle black, at the very least.

One of the back doors was so overgrown with those quick growing "weed-trees" that we couldn't even see the back door when we arrived.

And the car left sitting in the yard could not be hauled off even when we tried to do so because of the angle of the yard. WE didn't leave that car there.

One of the rooms shown in the pictures was used for storage...our children were never even in that room except to get storage items out of there.

The toilet in the bathroom that you saw had a faulty valve when we arrived. It was so badly corroded we needed to replace the pipes that led into it. We never had the money to do so.

The sewer had problems with backing up. I don't know why, and by the time the problem got bad, we didn't have the money to repair it. The tub looked so bad because we were constantly plunging it, despite the fact we had snaked it and dropped every chemical known to man down the drain with little effect. We had to plunge for 5-10 minutes just to take a bath.

Because of the extreme generosity of Brandie's grandfather, I did not see fit to get into a battle of "he said, they said", but since you insist, hey, what the heck! You won't believe me, but hey, conflict's what you're all about, so let's get into it!

As for the allegations of feces encrusted diapers, my children's almost diaper rash free existence should put that to rest. Skin breakdown occurs VERY quickly when the body is constantly exposed to human waste, as any caregiver can attest.

The workers at Harvest House will tell you that when we needed help, we went to them. Their number can be found in any Pampa phone book, although they're probably not going to just give up personal information just like that.

We have also used Angel Food Ministries in the past.

I could give you transcripts from the college to show my successful completion of courses, and my tax records will show the hours I put in for Work Study with the college, as well as the hours put in with my former employer.

I did not have extensive experience in home maintenance, and the lack of time as well as high bills (gasoline, for one) did not leave me with many options for working on the home.

Moving cost us several times what we expected, as we had to take approximately seven trips up here before we arrived, with gas prices climbing and deposits substantially higher than what we expected. At the end of January, when I received my first paycheck from this job, we had $29 in the bank and $34 in rolled change. That was it.

I'm not excusing the actions for which I AM responsible, LW, but as I said, there's more to the story. There were many reasons I didn't get into it. But since you're going to sit there and continue to pound the issue, I guess I have to say something.

And as for the fast food...89 cent sodas and dollar menu burgers or burritos because it was cheaper than the $6 I would spend to go home and back. I rarely had access to a fridge during the day so I couldn't always bring food from home.

Since the minute details of my life are so vital to your existence, I'll also tell you...I wear briefs

And for those keeping score at home, I made $9 an hour on my regular job, and $5.85 with work study. The $9 an hour is about average for the area. Not a king's ransom by any means.

One of the reasons I stayed with the paper route so long is because I made about $2300/month. Before the gas prices hit $3.00/gallon, that was more than I could make anyplace else in Pampa with my resume, which was why I decided to go back to school.

And the Department of Labor holds an entirely different view than you do on children and paper routes. Just for the record.

As for the cleanliness of the house as we were living in it, I will take full and complete responsibility for that. Ultimately poor leadership and support on my part caused the situation to reach the point that it did.

One of the positive changes this semester is that I don't have to travel for both work and school, so I have no reason not to be home between classes. This means making lunches, quick cleanups, and other projects are something I can do much easier.

We've made changes such as my cooking one meal a week with each of our oldest three and helping our five and three year old with lunch once a week, cleaning contests, and de-clutter days to manage things better. I still have a long way to go, but I AM working to correct the things that need to be corrected.

And FYI, the reason I am online is because it's a slow day at work and I have no homework due (spring break!)

I grew up in the community that shunned Gideon for his failure to provide and nuture his family. The little town has its fair share of faults, but I do believe the citizens of the community were truly concerned about the welfare of his children. I hate that Candie's family was harmed by his selfishness. I guess you live and learn . . .

For the sake of his children, I hope he finds his way. I suppose we all deserve second chances. Of course, making amends for past hurts is the best place to begin.

 

Lobster,

The place to go in trying to help someone is to the source. The community did not do that; they gossipped behind our backs.

You speak with some authority on the subject, let us not forget that on the few occasions when you visited when I was in church you wouldn't even acknowledge knowing who I was.

And I MUST point out, Biblically, the place to go is DEFINITELY to the individual involved.

I could detail the rumours that have been launched in that community about all of the families that have been proven untrue, but that would be both pointless and salacious. I've seen Christian fellowships operate in the past, and in fact, we're in one now, and gossip is not a healthy fuel on which to run a church.

Oh, and since we're on the subject of that community, since when does "helping" involve reporting lies?

The last report to CPS, which came from a prominent member OF THAT CHURCH reported the following:

1. Broken glass in the yard (there was none, and the CPS worker checked pretty thoroughly).

2. An open sore on my daughter's cheek (she has a wart on her cheek, which does NOT qualify as an "open sore", however, we DID see a doctor at the request of the case worker; so much for the "malnourished" allegation as well, huh?)

3. That my wife was kept prisoner in the home. I was not home when the case worker arrived, and she spoke with my wife. She told me as soon as she spoke with me that that allegation was obviously untrue.

Now, please, enlighten me, lobster. How does one help by spreading flat out lies as fact? I really want to know the answer to this one.

You guys have dragged my name through the mud for TWO MONTHS, and I have dealt with it. I only asked to be able to blog on MY BLOG, but apparently that wasn't enough for some of you. I said at the beginning there was another side to the story, and didn't want to go into it because I didn't want to get into advanced mud slinging, but you guys have finally forced my hand.

When I was a child, I knew adults who were concerned about me. They mentored me, they shared meals with me, they invited me on special trips. They didn't shun me. If the people of that Godly, Christian community cared so much, why did they SHUN my wife and children?

Again, I will say, the response was the opposite in Pampa. But because we didn't LIVE in Pampa and because the distance was further than most people wanted to travel with the high gas prices, they couldn't always take advantage of such invitations (although they did whenever they could).

Pictures are worth a thousand words, Gideon. . .

Being bitter over the past will not serve you well in the future.

 

 

My gawd, the garbage in that front 'storage room' was shoulder deep, the trash and junk piled against the house was hip-deep, years worth  of filth coated every surface inside the house (from the cabinet fronts to the floors to the bathtub (gag) to the walls and ceilings, the entire place was infested with RATS, Tim...but there was no broken glass, hmm?

Sorry those evil churchgoers besmirched your sainthood that way.

And how, exactly, does one 'shun' a family that keeps their children out of school, out of the community, and certainly invites NO ONE over to their own (squalorous) home?

I didn't read most of this because it's too annoying.

1) KFC- be warned.  JU does NOT allow you to use a bloggers name in your article unless it is for "good".  You say you don't flame people, but all you are doing is throwing stones.

2)

Gee, you think?  It's a freakin' blog site!  People come on here to BLOG, not to prove themselves to others.

Yeah, we all know he screwed up.  yeah, we all know it's fun to kick somebody when he's down.  Yep, he didn't take help before, but has it ever occurred to anyone that he may have had a wake up call from all of this?

It's impossible to make your life "right" in a matter of months or even years.  We know what he DID, but do we know what he is DOING?

I am also amazed at how many people are on their high horses of righteousness.  Ever occur to you that his wife is not helpless?  Oh, wait, it's easy to say he didn't "let" her do stuff.  It's a family problem- one that they are TRYING to overcome.  How about people start acting like a community and try and help instead of keep stomping him into the ground?

 

Gid even unblacklisted KFC because she treated him reasonably. You must have missed that in your not-reading.

KFC,

May I start by pointing out that yesterday, Palm Sunday, marked the beginnning of the holiest week in the Christian year.  Today is Monday in Holy Week.

I find after reading this forum that, at best, you have proven yourself insincere in saying you are not here to flame Gid. You've been around JU long enough to know others will do it for you. In this you've provided the space for the deed. The "gutting and bleading of Gid" is continuing.

ENOUGH ALREADY!

Who of us is perfect to keep casting stone after stone?  It's time to put the sticks and stones down.

The judgments have been levelled. By now, Gid knows what he's up against. He knows his guilt and he knows his innocence.  Today the reading is from Psalm 102: 10, 78:8-9

"O Lord, repay us not according to the sins we have committed, nor according to our iniquities. O Lord, remember not our former iniquities, let Thy mercies speedily prevent us: for we become exceeding poor. Help us, O God our Savior: and for the glory of Thy name, O Lord, deliver us: and forgive us our sins for Thy name's sake.

 

PS. Thank you Karmagirl for your comments of reply 64. They encouraged me to make my own.

 

 

 

You may not have a problem with him lying and stealing (leaving a house someone else must fix and clean is stealing their money and time) and allowing his children to suffer in filth in real life, then coming onto JU and pretending to be a CHAMPION of children and honesty and Christianity....but I do.

It's one thing to omit facts because its no one's business...its entirely another thing to twist the facts, blatantly lie about them, then expect things to go on as normal.  Some of us didn't just speak with Gid on JU, but shared emails and offers of help with him OUTSIDE of the blogging world.

We have every right to be angry.

Don't you get angry when people lie to you?  Take advantage of you or your friends?

Yes I agree its important to help people.  JU did that when one of its members gave him a rent free home.

But sometimes help is holding up a mirror and showing someone why they can't be helped, why what they need can't be given to them by anyone, but must be earned.

After his history of problems, any help from JU is enabling him to keep on keepin on.

If you want to help him, help him.

I don't have an issue with it.

What I don't understand is why you seem to have an issue with people saying they've had enough of his lies and deceit and wanting to confront him about it.  Why you have an issue with people encouraging him to get on with real life and take care of his sorely neglected children....isn't that helping him?

You're right Lula. Who are we to see a wrong and say something about it. Much better to sweep it under the carpet and ignore it. So much better for everyone.



Oh get over yourself already. She can't control what others say or do. Can you?

If you knew anything about healing Lula (and not sweeping things under the rug) you'd know all the anger must be vented first lest it puss up and burst forth later.

Gid didn't give anyone here enough time for healing, not to mention his family..before coming back to business as usual. He's USED to the state of his real life, we just found out about it and all the lies it entails..so excuse me for not just letting it go and getting over it.

Excuse all the humanness expressed here against your self perceived holiness. Maybe you can pray to your avatar for our souls.