Open Letter To Gid

Published on March 13, 2008 By KFC Kickin For Christ In Blogging

Hello Gid,

Since you do not offer me a chance to comment on your blog, I thought I would here. I figured I had two choices. One, to ignore what you said and the other to speak out on it.

I chose the latter.....obviously.

You said you expect, as a result of what you wrote, to see a flame blog from me? Based on what? When have I ever flamed anyone? My articles are here for all to see and I've not once resorted to flame throwing. Not once. I have no use for such immaturity.

I'm not here to flame you.

You say in your letter "Stopping By" that you have admitted yourself as being dysfunctional. Well who isn't? We all come from some sort of dysfunction. There are no perfect families on the planet that I'm aware of. I came from a dystunctional family as well. But I don't wallow in it. I choose to go on. While you can't help what happened to you, you do have a choice to make sure it doesn't happen to your own family. Sorry to say, you'd rather wallow in dysfuntion, then walk away from it. Change begins with you Gid.

You were very quick to attack the dysfunctional church. You gave much time to this subject. From what I could see, they only wanted to help your family even if that meant calling in outside help. You said no, they were not helping you, and since I wasn't there, what else could I say? You say, I didn't see things? You say I didn't notice you needed help?

To the full extent you're right. I didn't see the severity until afterwards. Chalk it up to 20/20 hindsight. But there were many, many red flags you waved and when I'd comment on them, you'd get very angry with me. You didn't like me to go there remember? Whenever I'd question you, you'd get angry. Usually this centered around the church helping you or "not" helping you. Whenever anyone would dare question you on CPS or the church you got very defensive. So obviously you didn't want any advice nor were you looking for help. You only wished for us to validate your feelings against all the "bad" people who were after you.

As far as your depression goes that you mentioned in your earlier blogs....I know nothing about that. I never go back and read old blogs. I have only enough time to read the current blogs. If you were in church, like I kept advising you to do, this would have been replaced....I'm sure of it. Remember Elijah? Even he got depressed. He pulled himself away and felt sorry for himself. He had to be reminded, it's not all about HIM.

You accuse many of us beliving the rumor in the article that LW wrote. It was easy to do. First you disappeared and I was wondering where you were. I actually posted somewhere that I was wondering where you went to and Tova gave me a link to LW's blog that answered my question. Along with your disappearance and the pictures came TW's firsthand comments. Why wouldn't we believe? You came on and pretty much admitted it yourself. Again, why wouldn't we believe? If I remember right, I made one or two comments on LW's blog and it had no "bashing" qualities to it. It was basically one of shock and 20/20 hindsight.

After you came on to explain yourself, I sent you a personal message telling you that I was praying for you and your family which I will continue to do. I'm not sure what else to do Gid. I considered you a friend. One cannot help another unless they first want the help. Remember even Jesus asked the lame man..."do you wish to be well?"

As far as I was concerned, that was the last of it for me. I would never, ever, kick anyone when they're down.

I'm sorry Gid that you've had a bad time of it. But you have only yourself to blame. Only you can change this around. Sometimes it's not all that bad to reach rock bottom. Because it forces you to look up. It's all you've got.

Don't blame us for your shortcomings. We all tried to help you. You refused to be helped.

Comments (Page 3)

Gideon MacLeish

on Mar 14, 2008

And that's the main "difference" I notice. You are now directly attacking people, doubting their faith, making sarcasting remarks about their spirituality.

Leauki,

I am responding directly to them. There's no love in their attacks, and they have made it QUITE clear they are not my friends. Zoo, for instance, doesn't want to see me turn things around. He wants to sip mai tais in heaven and watch me roast on a spit.

LW,

EIC only pays for the first TWO children. Just a little news flash for ya. And the max you can earn with EIC is something around $4400. And we didn't earn the max.

If you're going to stick around here Gid, I for one would love to see how you are making changes in your life. I would love to hear truthful stories about time spent with your kids and wife and how they are learning true family values. I would love to hear that you have an accountability partner who is being the father figure you never had and that you are being submissive to his training.

I would be happy to discuss these things with YOU, KFC, because I believe you care. I really, really don't want to discuss them with Tova who simply demands that I go away, or with zoo, who feels that he has the authority to speak for God and condemn me to Hell. In short, they won't be blog topics for that reason.

I do believe that in the grand scheme of things, neglecting one's children to the degree you have is a pretty big sin, Gideon.

That's actually part of the rumor mill, LW. My children have ALWAYS had plenty of food, and yes, the occasional fast food mill. In fact, we have not once, but TWICE proven to CPS that there was more than ample food in our house. And no, it's not all beans and rice. To tell you the truth, macaroni and cheese and hot dogs are served FAR more often than beans and rice. Still a cheap meal, and one the kids love. And for breakfast, pancakes appear more than oatmeal. Again, cheap, again something the kids will eat their fill of.

As for clothes, they have plenty of clothes, in good repair, and clean. We have always had a good washer to wash them, and we do laundry every day. Yes, sometimes they looked dirty, but that had more to do with the fact that they play outside frequently, and that their play often involves a lot of dirt.

I'm not looking to excuse anything. I don't ask that you visit my blog, in fact, if you don't want to see me around JU, I'd frankly prefer that you don't. I write, though, because I have a boatload of ideas churcning through my head at any given time and I need someplace to express them.

There are reasons I didn't categorically address everything you said, LW, reasons that are far too deep to go into here. If you want me to shoulder the whole of your attacks and criticism, though, I am OK with that. I can do that. But there are a lot of assumptions being made that are completely untrue.

Take, for instance, the allegations of my keeping Amy a "virtual prisoner". The people who made that accusation KNOW that not to be true. They KNOW that I tried to make sure Amy got to attend every women's ministry function when we were going to their church, springing for a babysitter a couple of times so that she could enjoy herself when I had to work. They KNOW my kids went to the children's group and youth group functions, to VBS, and to family oriented community functions with the exception of the last six months or so when THEY didn't want to.

But see even as I type this, none of you will believe it BECAUSE YOU CHOOSE NOT TO. NONE of you has met me in person (that includes, by the way, TW. I have met her mother exactly ONCE, and none of you have spent any time getting to know me in person), and none of you are qualified to judge on anything other than the condition of our house when we left it.

I find it compelling that many of you feel I have no right to blog here, yet you feel you had every right to speak about me continually "behind my back" (while I'm sure you knew I would be looking at the forums, you didn't feel it was my right to respond).

Look, there was a time when I considered many of you friends, too, and some of you may still be. But it was you, Tova, specifically, who told me in no uncertain terms that you are NOT my friends, and that I should look elsewhere for friends. Why, then, should I care about your advice when you have made it clear that advice is not given out of ANY concern for me as a person?

Gideon MacLeish

on Mar 14, 2008

Gid, this is where I am going to disagree with you. I highly doubt that TW's parents have been able to put that house back in livable condition as of yet. Unless I am wrong here, you COULD have used that $500 or next time you have some funds and load up your kids that are big enough to actually work and take them down there and CLEAN on a weekend. If the place is clean I'm sure it could use some paint, or something else. Not ONLY would this initiate fixing your wrongs but would also begin to restore 'good faith.'

No, I'm saying I can't undo what's been done, A-D.

I'd be more than happy to go back and work on the place. But as none of my letters have received a reply, I really believe the family wants no more contact with me. And that is their right.

Adventure-Dude

on Mar 14, 2008

I will agree that it can't be undone.

I would challenge you to be persistent. From my stand point of things I would be extremely pissed at you if you left my place that much of a wreck. It may take some time and continued effort to restore your name and rebuild some trust back.

How are the 'preventive measures' coming along? I believe you mentioned something about family cleaning day and time with dad. Any areas you would like some help idea generating?

This is primarily the reason I am drawn to JU. There are many with experience and wisdom in areas that I don't. I love a place to exchange ideas.

Plus I love a good debate.

Tova7

on Mar 14, 2008

But it was you, Tova, specifically, who told me in no uncertain terms that you are NOT my friends, and that I should look elsewhere for friends. Why, then, should I care about your advice when you have made it clear that advice is not given out of ANY concern for me as a person?

I don't have to be "friends" with someone to help them.

But you're right Gid. I am not your friend. Why? Because most of the things you represented about yourself were a lie.

How can someone be friends with a lie?

You're right. I do want you to go away.

The fact you don't, the fact you have no issues showing up around people you lied too, day in and day out (knowing there is nothing you can do in cyber space to make it right..this is a bridge you can't ever rebuild, the net limits the ability to rebuild trust because all you have are words). That speaks toward your character.

If you really wanted to make things right with TW's family, nothing and no one would stop you. Not gas prices, not embarrassment, not the storm of the century, nadda.

What does it say about your character that you can sleep at night knowing how you left those people?

Frankly until you face them, eye to eye, and make it right...I don't think you'll be able to move on. Making amends face to face, and asking their forgiveness is the only way I'd ever think you "might" be willing to change.

Until then, its just all talk and we know what your talk entails.

Lies.

just john

on Mar 14, 2008

I can either ignore the problem and wallow in it, or I can MOVE FORWARD, using the past as a lesson and working to make a difference in the future. I choose the latter.

So many of your comments smack of another prominent liar here. (one I believe even the great you have joined in on) The difference is his lies were easily uncovered and your web took time to crumble around you. I'd really like to give you the benefit of the doubt. I'd like to believe that you have moved on from your past. I just don't think I can force myself to do that, not that it matters to you.

You act as though it is us who aren't your friends anymore when in reality you were never our friend. Friends don't lie to each other. I could care less if all of the rest of the allegations are true. The condition you left that house in was damning enough. Remember, it was you who claimed that the city was after you for simply not cutting your grass when it was so much more than that.

I think the biggest problem I have with you is that I know your situation. I live in a rent house that is rented to me at $400 lower than the market price for rent in my area. I get that great rate because the owner is a friend of mine. What makes our situation so different is that I do what I can to take care of his house. We have plumbing issues. Instead of calling Roto-Router every time roots grow through the clay pipes, I dig up the yard and try to fix it myself. When the wax ring on the toilet failed, I went to Lowes and bought a new one and installed it myself.

I realize the value of what I am getting and I treat my friend/landlord with respect. I take care of his house like it was my own.

CharlesCS

on Mar 14, 2008

Wow, I mean really, wow. I wonder what part of JU I was in that I completely missed all of this action going on.

Gid,

I always considered you a very educated, well spoken and interesting person when I read your articles and comments. I guess I never paid much attention to many of your articles since I see some of them have lead to this disturbing article with comments that have me confused as to how did all of you get here from a time when you all looked like best of friend or at least somewhat friends.

From what I can see here, you seem to have hurt a lot of people who once considered you part of their lives, who seemed to care for you. I find myself lost and confused because considering how many people are coming out against you, I am not sure what to think anymore. Was I also fooled by your words? Was I also lied to? Would you have taken advantage of me as well had I tried to help you?

I'm not here to judge you, especially since I seem to be completely out of touch with the events that lead to all of this. I can say this though, as a person who once though highly of you and one who believes in second chances and hopes that people can learn from their mistakes (sooner or later) I hope you do listen to those who, while in a bad mood, upset and downright angry at you, have suggested you do what it takes to better your situation and that of your children, even if it means leaving JU for good, disconnecting your internet and selling your PC. What ever it takes cause as far as I'm concerned family comes first, education comes second and JU (not intended to insult the site) should be last for entertainment purposes.

I am sorry things have been rough for you, but I'm sure you know just as many here do, I am a firm believer that people are responsible for their own problems. No matter what it takes one should try hard, harder and beyond to ensure one's children have as best a life as one can provide (not necessarily that of a rich person's lifestyle). I make no excuses for my problems (and boy I still have some); gas prices, food prices, vehicle problems, rent problems, bills, etc, all part of natural life and if you live your life believing these things won't eventually get you then you live in a fantasy world (similar to the one Col gene lives in). "Always expect the unexpected" should be the first thing every human being should learn about life. On never knows when shit's gonna hit the fan regardless of how well you think you are doing. Just ask Michael Jackson.

I hope you do what is right and I wish you the best of luck. I'm not one to blast on someone if I have not been directly affected by the situation so I'll let the others on this site provide the smack in the face they seem to believe you deserve and I can't help to admit you seem to need. If anything do it for the kids, I will do anything for mine.

Gideon MacLeish

on Mar 14, 2008

LW,

No, the fact is, we have never been "in trouble" with CPS. Not once. We have been investigated, but all it takes to be investigated is a phone call. We have never been charged with anything.

Our response to CPS the first time was a mistake, I admit that. I panicked and made a stupid decision, and we had to pay dearly for it. It was the first time I had ever dealt with them as a parent, and my response was one made out of prejudices I had from encounters with them as a child. This is why it's a decision I won't repeat. We responded to both CPS investigations while we were there in a timely manner, and CPS even interviewed these children that you insist are "failing to thrive".

I decided not to lean on you for help after you kept up with the stone throwing on your article. Frankly, Tova's right in one regard, and that's that I need to communicate with real life friends, not with online friends for assistance.

SanChonino

on Mar 14, 2008

I need to communicate with real life friends, not with online friends for assistance.

Then it's time to push the power button, fold up the laptop, and get a life.

Just go. Just . . . go, man.

Gideon MacLeish

on Mar 14, 2008

Just go. Just . . . go, man.

SC,

I have a life, thank you. Why don't you try just staying away from me? It shouldn't be that hard, really.

CharlesCS

on Mar 14, 2008

Uh huh. Read my article, 'Gutting a Big JU Fish.'

Will do. I'm still confused as to how did I miss this considering the time I spend on here.

CharlesCS

on Mar 14, 2008

After seeing what LW wrote on her article and realizing the truth Gid, I am sadden to see you (or anyone for that matter) would do such a thing. I won't deny I am not perfect and my family has had it pretty hard (though I have seen much much worse) but even I wouldn't allow things to go this far.

This is disgraceful and you have the balls, after doing what you did, to return to this site and act as if you had no choice, as if bad luck somehow has a hold on you, as if you did everything you could, as if everyone else is stupid and you are the smart one. It's a shame that you actually find time to respond to this article. It's a shame your kids don't have their daddy their while he wastes his time responding to his mistakes in life. Just more proof of how screwed up this country is that they won't remove those children from your "care" (man I almost chocked saying that).

God forgive me for even those who are as screwed up as Gid need help. But Gid, do us all a favor, and your kids and hit the road. I'd rather have Col gene posting crap on this site than to see your name and be reminded that I am witnessing the destruction of 6 helpless lives at the hands of a selfish father who's not even home to care for them instead he's here responding to everyone and a mother that makes terrorist who train children to hate westerners look like people who care.

I am so furious I feel like passing this on to a news station to see if by chance they will put it on TV or at least their website just so the whole world knows what you have done. It's one things to be a screw up, it's another to screw not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4 but 6 lives and then spend time on this site making excuses for it. Unplanned child? Next time keep your dick in your pants and your wife should plug herself, better yet, cut your dick off, only real men have dicks (with the exception of gays).

God I'm so furious right now I could give you a beating that the Undertaker would be proud of. I'm off for a while. I need to get away from this, thanks for the info LW. We may not always cross each other in good terms, but there will always be a time when we stand on the same side with the same feelings.

KFC Kickin For Christ

on Mar 14, 2008

What galls me the most, Tim, is that you chose me specifically as an 'accountability partner'

ok, no disrespect LW but really Gid, you need a strong Christian man, possibly someone in your fellowship as an accountability partner. You shouldn't have a woman you're confiding in whether here or anywhere. And you're right (as is Tova) someone you can meet with face to face is what you really need. I suggested an older man as I think that's what would work best with your background and personality.

Gid the best thing I can do for you is to pray that someone will cross your path very soon, someone that will help you become and be the man, husband and father you are meant to be. I pray this not only for you but for your family as I see more than seven lives at stake here in the long run.

Tova7

on Mar 15, 2008

pray that someone will cross your path very soon, someone that will help you become and be the man, husband and father you are meant to be.

Amen.

Anthony R

on Mar 15, 2008

If everything LW reports in her article is true, and I have no reason to believe it isnt, then GM's first article upon return should have been something like, ' how I can make amends for what I did to those poor old folks' or 'how I intend to repair my reputation.' Not 'Sally Kearns, free speech and gays debate.'

Gideon MacLeish

on Mar 15, 2008

That wasn't my first article on return, Anthony, but thanks for playing!

and I have no reason to believe it isnt,

Guilty until proven innocent, eh?

I have stated over and over again I had no problem with LW's original article. I have a problem with the lynch mentality that resulted, which took every bit of rumour as gospel truth.

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