Should it be taught in the schools?
Published on September 29, 2006 By KFC Kickin For Christ In Misc
I spent some time last night at the school board meeting. There has been some heated controversy the last few months about teaching abstinence to the middle school students here. Right now they are being taught what the state recommends, and it's not an abstinence based program. So a group of parents have been making a statement armed with good documentation and organization. They are asking the school if they will consider teaching an alternative to what the state recommends for the parents who are trying to teach their children abstaining until marriage.

Boy, what a pandora box has been opened with this topic. We are talking 11-13 year olds. It's hard to believe but they are sexually active during this age. I was shocked when my kids were in this school years ago and found this to be true.

Anyway an abstinence group came in to give a presentation. They are currently in some school systems across the country and have been very successful in getting the kids to delay either their first sexual encounter or to wait entirely for marriage. The numbers have been very encouraging. They do an entry and exit survey before and after the program. Their findings show the kids are thinking very seriously about what they were taught with an increased number ending the program with the decision it's best to wait in comparison to the begininng when they were unsure and more likely to engage earlier.

The school board allowed an hour for this presentation and it was quite interesting to watch. This was my first meeting, and I could tell immediately who on the school board was disgusted and who was not by watching them. For some, their minds were not going to change by the look on their faces. They hardly looked at the booklets and paperwork passed out prior to the presentation. There was a reporter there as well taking notes. It will be front page when it comes out.

As I slid into my seat, a nurse friend whispered in my ear, "the name calling has begun." I guess these parents are being called right wingers among other things. I have signed on and will join the effort. I'll now be on that list.

The Heritage Foundation's mission is to try and help with behavior instead of dealing with the aftermath of the behavior. The presentation was very detailed, organized and articularly presented. They had it all done with Powerpoint compared to the school's presentation last week which was totally unorganized and overhead projector was used. There were nurses on both sides here who were being used as spokeswomen along the way.

The main spokesperson was the President of the Heritage Foundation, but then later a man who was probably in his 30's got up to speak. He would be an instructor along with the nurse who was with him. He made a good point. He said he never heard of abstinence as a young man and was always told when he asked about sex that "when he was ready" he'd know. So he'd always ask...."am I ready?" When he was in his 20's, he asked, "am I ready now?" He was never told it was best to wait until marriage. It was never clear to him. He wants the kids to be able to hear that alternative. They are not hearing this in the state's sex ed curriculums now.

This all came about because about a year ago there was a "health fair" at the HS. At that fair a Clinic was there and were handing out free condoms. Prizes were given out for any that would put a condom on a wooden structure built just for this type of thing. A kid on the sly went and video taped the whole thing. You can hear the coaxing by the adult in charge and very clearly can see the hesitation and embarrasment of the kids. They were being shown different flavored condoms and encouraged to taste them even. It was pretty disturbing. The condoms were being passed out like candy, and on the video you could see full buckets of condoms free for the taking.

This video made it right to the Principal's office. The few parents involved in this were enraged. This could not be broadcasted because the kids faces were shown and since this could cause some problems the video didn't go too far. I saw the video. It was very upsetting. I felt our kids were being sold down the river and my kids were not involved since they are now gone from the school system. Thank God.

What shocked me even more were the school board members who were enraged. They said things like...."I'm not going to tell my son to wait until marriage and I don't want anyone else to either." "If our kids want to have sex, it's their decision." Hello?

I don't get it. My question is .....Why is it bad to encourage your child to wait until marriage? What's wrong with giving them the alternative to what is currently being taught by letting them know it's ok to wait ? Is it that bad to tell them they don't have to do what everyone else is doing? As I see it, the bar should be lifted, and it's good for all involved. Afterall we're talking 11 year olds. Am I missing something?









Comments (Page 5)
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on Oct 02, 2006
Where is your charity toward the homeschooling mother of 7? This is a blog for pete's sake--not a writing contest. There is much substance in what she says; so what if there are some mispelled words.


If the teacher cannot spell what hope have the students?
on Oct 02, 2006
This article is APALLING.
It is unacceptable to do many of the things mentioned here.

Now I don't remember having this taught in sixth grade, but it was definately in middle school. Around seventh grade, I believe. I do remember being taught about abstinence, and some of the things that we learned about boggled my mind.

I am proud to have never been sexually active at all in my 36 years.
on Oct 02, 2006
I am proud to have never been sexually active at all in my 36 years.


To quote my favourite ye olde days author, 'there's nothing more perverted than abstinence."
on Oct 02, 2006
Why in the hell would people taste condoms in the first place?...I don't really think they'd be that delicious.

~Zoo
on Oct 02, 2006
Now I don't remember having this taught in sixth grade, but it was definately in middle school


In our school sixth grade is middle school. Actually it's like that in I believe the whole state. That's why it's not called Jr High any more. Middle school is 6-8th grade where Jr high is only 7-8th grade.

I am proud to have never been sexually active at all in my 36 years.


To quote my favourite ye olde days author, 'there's nothing more perverted than abstinence."


well just think Cacto of all the money he/she saved in Birth Control and all other costs involved with being sexually active outside of marriage. Also the best preventative against all the diseases and such is abstinence so why would it be perverted? Don't you have it backwards?

on Oct 02, 2006
Posted: Monday, October 02, 2006Why in the hell would people taste condoms in the first place?...


beats me. It's hard enough for kids to try anything new when it comes to edibles, but I guess you'd have to chalk this one up to peer pressure. Since you never buckled under that animal maybe that's why you don't understand.

That's a good thing.....

on Oct 02, 2006
Why in the hell would people taste condoms in the first place?...I don't really think they'd be that delicious.


  
on Oct 03, 2006
I'd rather have to read a few mispellings than the profanity used by Xythe.


You don't have to read my posts. If you don't like what I have to say, you are more than welcome to pass over my comments; I won't be offended.
on Oct 03, 2006
Why in the hell would people taste condoms in the first place?...I don't really think they'd be that delicious.


Some come in different flavours.
on Oct 03, 2006
Some come in different flavours.


I wouldnt know, ive never tasted one.....don't think it will be happening in my lifetime either. Ad lord forbid the arse that tries to entice a young boy in my presence to do so without his parents concent as well.
on Oct 03, 2006
I went to a Catholic school until the 7th grade, so there probably was mention of sex before marriage being a sin, but I don't remember that being spefically mentioned during the sex ed classes. I don't remember it all that well, except for watching really old movies about the reproductive process, and the teacher putting a condom on a banana.

My high school had a mandatory health class, and that had a much better unit on sex ed. They showed all the nasty pictures of the STDs, had videos about people with AIDS, etc. I remember the instructor going through all the different birth control methods, and she repeatedly stressed that none of them except for abstinence were 100% effective.

Also, teaching both is confusing to kids becasue they are contradictory messages.


I disagree. It's all in the presentation. If abstinence is taught as an afterthought, "oh by the way" sort of thing then, yes, the kids are probably going to ignore it.
on Oct 03, 2006
CariElf, you made my point. Think about it? Of course it's all in the presentation. The student who is sitting in sex ed class is presented an education on the body parts and instruction on how to engage in sexual activity using birth control of some sort. That's what sex education is---an education on sex. When sex education comes from the State, i.e. public schools (government schools), the education is based on the values of secular humanism---No rights, no wrongs, when your're ready do you own thing.
If the State has a comprehensive sex ed curriculum, then it teaches both sex ed and abstinence which is exactly what you describe getting in high school. Summed up, state sponsored comprehensive sex ed is permissive education. It sexualizes kids, by instructing them and getting them to think about sexual behavior, gives them the tools to engage in sex and sends them away, saying stay abstinent as the surest way to avoid pregnancy and STDs. Yes, you are right, kids are probably going to ignore it (the abstinence message.) Only there's no "probably" about it. The Facts show that they do---and that's why we have an epidemic of STD's and STI's, not to mention depression and even teen suicide, to show for it.
Comprehensive sex ed doesn't teach the stay abstinent until marriage message. It teaches stay abstinent UNTIL you are ready and have contracteptives available.

On the other hand, Abstinence Until Marriage Education teaches kids an entirely different message. The message is: your body, your life, your future is worth postponing sexual activity until marriage. It puts before them the gold standard of behavior--chastity before marriage. It teaches skills in self-control, self-discipline and self-esteem. This is indeed a totally contradictory message than that of sex ed.
on Oct 03, 2006
Scary thought that someone with such poor writing skills is the exclusive educator for SEVEN children.


Where is your charity toward the homeschooling mother of 7?


Nope you're not missing ANYTHING! As a homeschool mom of 7, as well as a Christian, are kids are indeed being taught to wait. And even if one wasn't a Christian - why encourage your kids to catch all kinds of diseases, become parents as teens and develope emotional relationships they are too immature to handle - not to mention a precurser to divorce. Not what I want for my kids!!

Edited:

Nope, you’re not missing anything. I am a home school mom of 7, and a Christian. Is it true children are indeed being taught to wait? It doesn’t seem so to me.

Why would anybody encourage their children to catch all kinds of diseases or develop emotional relationships they are to immature to handle, including marriages prone to divorce by not waiting, and /or promoting teen pregnancies?

This is NOT what I want for my children.


This post can hardly even be corrected, as the message is convoluted, fragmented, and slightly contradictory.

It is nearly impossible to make any real sense of what the author is trying to say, and leaves the reader to interpret the meaning.

Texas Wahine is pointing out the irony of this particular authors inability to compose a simple, coherent paragraph. How can a lady be the only academic educator of 7 children, and not have the ability to compose a simple thought in writing? Chances are, these 7 children will never learn how to convey a message from their thoughts onto paper with any level of understanding to the reader.

As far as I am concerned, there is really no need to be charitable. One needs to be qualified to teach. Otherwise, the teacher passes on their own ignorance to their students that do not know the difference between the right way or the wrong.

Anyway, I’m sorry KFC to post off topic, but I figured I needed to write something without the use of profanity, and to point out that poor teachers lead to ignorant children.

ps. I'm leagues from being the best writer in the world, nor much of an editor, but then again, I'm not a teacher.
on Oct 03, 2006
Xythe,

Homeschooling is done in diff ways. I know one Mom who is involved in everything, reading, testing, correcting everything her child does....it's more of the old way I think. I know of another Mom who just supervises, making sure her daughter does what she needs to do. All the work is sent back over the net to be corrected by a Homeschool Service that is very reputable with a pretty high percentage of it's grads going onto Ivy League Schools. She administers the tests for her daughter and then sends it back via an attachment and the grade comes back to both mom and daughter via their emials. The work is very challenging and the mom who just took her child out of public school is very impressed with the program. I was too when I saw it. This way both Mom and daughter are learning as they read the material together.

So this Homeschool Mom could be the latter of the two. If so, you need not worry.

Also, many recognize their weaknesses and strengths and may get help by having someone else take care of the English and Writing Classes for their kids while she/he may do the art or science, etc. Also with the help of teacher's books the answers are not far off.

Basically, what I'm saying, it's really too hard to know what the case is here over JU. I've seen some public school teachers that are woefully not far off in the ignorant category myself. I don't care how much schooling they have. Some are total idiots.


but I figured I needed to write something without the use of profanity


I appreciate that. Thanks.

on Oct 10, 2006
On the other hand: what is so wrong with not waiting?

My GF and I first had sex as freshmen in highschool and are still together almost 10 years later and will be getting married ect.

I don't see anything wrong with that scenerio either.

Sure, abstinance is not a bad thing, but sex is a GREAT thing.
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