Should it be taught in the schools?
I spent some time last night at the school board meeting. There has been some heated controversy the last few months about teaching abstinence to the middle school students here. Right now they are being taught what the state recommends, and it's not an abstinence based program. So a group of parents have been making a statement armed with good documentation and organization. They are asking the school if they will consider teaching an alternative to what the state recommends for the parents who are trying to teach their children abstaining until marriage.
Boy, what a pandora box has been opened with this topic. We are talking 11-13 year olds. It's hard to believe but they are sexually active during this age. I was shocked when my kids were in this school years ago and found this to be true.
Anyway an abstinence group came in to give a presentation. They are currently in some school systems across the country and have been very successful in getting the kids to delay either their first sexual encounter or to wait entirely for marriage. The numbers have been very encouraging. They do an entry and exit survey before and after the program. Their findings show the kids are thinking very seriously about what they were taught with an increased number ending the program with the decision it's best to wait in comparison to the begininng when they were unsure and more likely to engage earlier.
The school board allowed an hour for this presentation and it was quite interesting to watch. This was my first meeting, and I could tell immediately who on the school board was disgusted and who was not by watching them. For some, their minds were not going to change by the look on their faces. They hardly looked at the booklets and paperwork passed out prior to the presentation. There was a reporter there as well taking notes. It will be front page when it comes out.
As I slid into my seat, a nurse friend whispered in my ear, "the name calling has begun." I guess these parents are being called right wingers among other things. I have signed on and will join the effort. I'll now be on that list.
The Heritage Foundation's mission is to try and help with behavior instead of dealing with the aftermath of the behavior. The presentation was very detailed, organized and articularly presented. They had it all done with Powerpoint compared to the school's presentation last week which was totally unorganized and overhead projector was used. There were nurses on both sides here who were being used as spokeswomen along the way.
The main spokesperson was the President of the Heritage Foundation, but then later a man who was probably in his 30's got up to speak. He would be an instructor along with the nurse who was with him. He made a good point. He said he never heard of abstinence as a young man and was always told when he asked about sex that "when he was ready" he'd know. So he'd always ask...."am I ready?" When he was in his 20's, he asked, "am I ready now?" He was never told it was best to wait until marriage. It was never clear to him. He wants the kids to be able to hear that alternative. They are not hearing this in the state's sex ed curriculums now.
This all came about because about a year ago there was a "health fair" at the HS. At that fair a Clinic was there and were handing out free condoms. Prizes were given out for any that would put a condom on a wooden structure built just for this type of thing. A kid on the sly went and video taped the whole thing. You can hear the coaxing by the adult in charge and very clearly can see the hesitation and embarrasment of the kids. They were being shown different flavored condoms and encouraged to taste them even. It was pretty disturbing. The condoms were being passed out like candy, and on the video you could see full buckets of condoms free for the taking.
This video made it right to the Principal's office. The few parents involved in this were enraged. This could not be broadcasted because the kids faces were shown and since this could cause some problems the video didn't go too far. I saw the video. It was very upsetting. I felt our kids were being sold down the river and my kids were not involved since they are now gone from the school system. Thank God.
What shocked me even more were the school board members who were enraged. They said things like...."I'm not going to tell my son to wait until marriage and I don't want anyone else to either." "If our kids want to have sex, it's their decision." Hello?
I don't get it. My question is .....Why is it bad to encourage your child to wait until marriage? What's wrong with giving them the alternative to what is currently being taught by letting them know it's ok to wait ? Is it that bad to tell them they don't have to do what everyone else is doing? As I see it, the bar should be lifted, and it's good for all involved. Afterall we're talking 11 year olds. Am I missing something?