They say confession is good for the soul. I'm feeling really guilty so I must confess.
All kinds of things come to mind now. The thought that it really isn't that bad comes and goes along with the thought that I can't believe I sabtotaged myself like that. I've been doing so well and this happened. Why can't I just be good? Why do I do what I don't want to do and do what I shouldn't do?
I am flawed. That's the only human explanation. The spirit is willing but the flesh is so weak. I can see doing this in my 20's but not in my 40's! I could afford it then, but not now. Every little thing I do makes a bigger difference now. More is at stake.
My muscles ache for all the work I've done in the last couple of weeks. I wake up feeling achy and I have to admit it really feels good. I've been running alot. I've been doing quite a bit of gardening. I've been walking to get the mail instead of driving the golf cart. I've been lifting weights at night while watching TV. Heck I've even been doing the sit-ups that I used to love doing but now hate.
I've been so good! I'm feeling the success of my hard work. I'm getting second looks when I walk down the street. I had someone say to me the other day that I was looking good! Yeah baby!
So what did I do? Why do I have to confess?
I ate two klondike bars yesterday in quick succession! Like in 10 minutes. Gah! They were good and it's hot! Cooled me right down, but I can't believe I did that especially in lieu of my goals to lose inches and weight.
So just like that it was a done deal! Can't turn back now. Ate the evidence! Interestingly in trying to avoid our excesses sometimes we go extremely the other way and I did just that by going out today and buying a half flat (six pints) of gorgeous, plump, juicy red strawberries. But really how bad can that be? Not in my book.
Of course I ate almost a whole pint; couldn't help myself. Hopefully that will keep me far away, from the other Klondike bars lurking only one freezer away, from having to make another confession!
Why do they put six in a package? It's only a matter of time.