Published on July 13, 2009 By KFC Kickin For Christ In Misc

I've lived in Florida now just under two years and I can already vouch for a few of these items on the following Florida Code list. The roads are totally insane; as it says here.  Whoever came up with the naming of the streets completely messed with our northern heads when we first moved here.  You can have the same name on a road with a different ending like street, ave or drive.  For instance I've seen Griffin Ave, Griffin Street, Griffin Way etc right in the same town.   I've seen Ridgeway Drive on the left as I'm driving down a road and then see Ridgeway Street on the right just a block down the street.  What??  

Some of these I never will experience like the one about South Beach but all in all, yes, I can see this is the Floridian way.  

 

THE SOUTH FLORIDA CODE

                  When giving directions in South Florida, you should always start with
                the words, Take I-95 . . .

                  If you're a snowbird or a non-working retiree, you absolutely cannot
                  drive between the hours of 6am and 10am, and 4pm and 7pm. This is
                  considered to be rush hour and you're not in any rush. No exceptions.

                  Some roads just stop for no reason and then start again: Congress
                  Avenue, Lyons Road, Jog Road.

                  Freeways can only go north and south. Not east and west..

                  A1A and ALT A1A are the same streets.

                  Traffic Lights aren't timed and never will be.

                  We measure the distance you travel in time not miles.

                  If you travel more than 5-10 miles on any road in South Florida without
                  seeing an orange Bob's Barricade, you're lost!

                  If you miss your exit on I-95, it's perfectly acceptable to back up.

                  Once the light turns green, only 3 cars can go through the intersection.
                  Eight more go through on yellow and 4 on red.

                  Know the difference between Sun Pass, Sun Fest, Sun-Sentinel, and Sun
                  Trust..

                  Flip flops, tank tops and baggy shorts are also known as business
                casual.

                  Your blinker means nothing.

                  English is our second language.

                  It is perfectly acceptable to brag about the size of your generator.

                  It is totally acceptable to be living in South Florida but not root for
                  The Dolphins, The Marlins, The Heat or The Panthers.

                  We have alligators here in South Florida and they WILL bite you. Don't
                be stupid and try to feed or pet one.

                  Clematis is a street, not a disease.

                  When a hurricane is headed our way, even though you have advanced
                warning and you are told to be prepared, you're not a true Floridian unless you
                wait until the absolute last minute to go to Home Depot to pick up
                plywood or to Publix to stock up water, ice, beer, and potato chips.

                  You know how to spell (and pronounce) Okeechobee and Ft.Lauderdale.

                  Do NOT buy a boat. Make friends with someone who already owns a boat.
                That way you don't have to deal with the headaches.

                  There is an Okeechobee blvd, street, avenue, town, lake and county.

                  You weren't born here. If you were, you're angry that everyone else
                moved here.

                  There's always a Walgreens across the street from a CVS on almost every
                  corner - with more being built every day.

                  When picking up a woman on South Beach, always look for an Adams apple.

                  It's normal to sweat when you are putting up your holiday decorations.

                  Jupiter is a city, not a planet.

                  Seniors have to do their errands during the weekdays. Not weeknights or
                  weekends - that's for the working folks.

                  There are three types of dolphins: Mahi-mahi, flipper, and also one
                  called a football team.

                  You can't say; "this is how we did it up north." If you think that way,
                  then go back.

                  No matter what they decide in Tallahassee you will never be able to
                  figure out your property taxes.

                  Learn how to dress in layers. It will be 95 degrees outside but inside
                  any restaurant or business it's 65 degrees.

                  There are three things you will need to survive a south Florida winter:
                  A long sleeved T-shirt, sunscreen and restaurant reservations that you
                make at least three weeks in advance.

                  The same neighbor who smiles at you every day will be the first one to
                  rat you out if you are violating water restrictions.

Comments
on Jul 13, 2009

Sounds about right!

on Jul 13, 2009

Some of these I never will experience like the one about South Beach

Ah come on, you mean you wouldn't be a kind soul and offer a ride?

 

These are good to know, do they apply to mid-north florida - like say from Tampa to Orlando to Jacksonville? I've been thinking about attending graduate school in florida.

 

~A

on Jul 13, 2009

I haven't done a ton of exploring too far out so not sure if all of Florida is like this, but the little that we have done seems to verify that it is. 

It's true about the lights as well.  I swear more go thru yellow and red combined than green to begin with.  Maybe that's why there is so much talk here about putting cameras on the lights to catch the violators.  A few of the lights around us have cameras on them for just this reason. 

and the layers....yep.  I go out to a restaurant wearing a sweatshirt in the car even tho it's a blazing 95 out.  My husband looks at me like I'm weird but is starting to get used to it.  I freeze without one when we go out for dinner once we settle in and have that first cold drink. 

Whenever we go to the movies, I always carry a sweater with me as well.  Never did this in the North.  I guess back in the NE they don't put the AC down as low as they do here for one thing.  That is, if they even have AC to begin with. 

So we wear layers back home for warmth when we go outdoors and we wear layers down here for warmth when we go indoors. 

 

 

on Jul 13, 2009

 

That sounds a little too much like Utah... who would have known.

 

Once the light turns green, only 3 cars can go through the intersection.

Eight more go through on yellow and 4 on red.
  That is seen here, too.  It's also expected that the last 3 cars waiting to turn left will turn after the light has turned red.  Not to mention the yellow light at an intersection means go faster, "stop" really means "yield," and "yield" means "ignore."

You can't say; "this is how we did it up north." If you think that way,

then go back.

Any comments about making Utah "normal" (usually regarding liquor) results in the comment: "If you don't like it, then leave."

When giving directions in South Florida, you should always start with

the words, Take I-95 . .

In No. Utah, usually starts with "Get on I-15"

Freeways can only go north and south. Not east and west..
  

Because of the Great Salt Lake, this was true for a very, very, long time.  Now we have I-215 that goes E-W-ish

Funny article KFC. 

on Jul 13, 2009

I've got one for you KFC. CRAP

When I worked for an Underground Utility Locator company in Miami, the first thing I was trained when it came to finding addresses fast to do my job was CRAP.

Court

Road

Avenue

Place

This made it easier to find addresses since in about 90% of Miami, Avenues ran North and South and CRAP was the name for anything that was an Avenue, everything else was Streets. We would know where the street was most of the time. Of course that does not apply in Hialeah.

 

on Jul 13, 2009

I haven't done a ton of exploring too far out so not sure if all of Florida is like this, but the little that we have done seems to verify that it is.

It's true about the lights as well. I swear more go thru yellow and red combined than green to begin with. Maybe that's why there is so much talk here about putting cameras on the lights to catch the violators. A few of the lights around us have cameras on them for just this reason.

and the layers....yep. I go out to a restaurant wearing a sweatshirt in the car even tho it's a blazing 95 out. My husband looks at me like I'm weird but is starting to get used to it. I freeze without one when we go out for dinner once we settle in and have that first cold drink.

Whenever we go to the movies, I always carry a sweater with me as well. Never did this in the North. I guess back in the NE they don't put the AC down as low as they do here for one thing. That is, if they even have AC to begin with.

So we wear layers back home for warmth when we go outdoors and we wear layers down here for warmth when we go indoors.

 

hmmm, all right. Thanks for replying.