There's head knowledge and then there's heart knowledge.  Sometimes you know something just because you know it.  But then when you go thru the experience of it, it really strikes home.  Have you ever had that happen to you?  You know, when you think you know something but after experiencing it  then you realize you really didn't know what you thought you knew? 

Does this even make sense?  

Well to me recently I really came to the realization of something by experiencing it firsthand.  What am I talking about?  I'm talking about  making a difference in somebody's life like you never have before and making an effort not because you have to but because you want to.   

I mean I know I've made a difference, in some small ways in various people's lives to some degree. It's not really an effort just sort of happens.   We all have and most of the time we don't think about it. 

As parents, I hope we've made a good impact on our children's lives but then again, that's sort of our responsibility isn't it?  It's not something you sit around and think about very often.  Maybe we should though.  If we thought about it more, we'd be more careful about making better decisions that affect those around us. 

Well I was thinking the other day what a wonderful world this would be if we all were actively looking for ways to help another in need more in going out of our way then just waiting for the opportunity to strike us. 

The reason I'm saying this is because I recently found myself doing this and I've been blessed tremendously as a side benefit without even realizing it until lately.  It's hard to say who is getting the greater blessing here. 

I mean it's a given.  We should all help one another.  We know that  in a cerebral sort of way but  not always by experiencing it for ourselves.   

Usually that is because we are too busy living our own lives.  We don't have time.  It's a crazy messed up fast paced world.  Who has time for another life when taking care of the one we have is a handful? 

Early last summer I befriended an 85 year old woman who lives alone and doesn't drive.  She has one daughter who lives nearby and tends to her mother when she can but is quite busy herself.  She takes her out shopping and offers to bring her places.  But my friend whom I'll call M doesn't like to impose on anyone including her daughter and is very content to just be confined to her little home staying in for sometimes a week at a time without going out anywhere.  Since her husband died ten years ago she doesn't even call too many people because, again, she doesn't want to interrupt anyone's family time or impose in any way. 

Since I didn't have alot to do, and am not working I started visiting her once or twice a week, sometimes more because she lived within golf cart distance of my home.  I started by hooking up a VCR/DVD player for her and giving her movies every week to watch.   Since M only had one other lady she talked to on the phone she looked forward to my visits and we had a great time chatting. She loves to laugh and tell corny jokes.  Sometimes she runs to look up a joke she's written down or saved for me.   She tells me alot about the old days and we talk politics and religions and stuff like that.  I usually stayed for an hour or so.  She was all alone at Christmas so she came to my house for dinner with not too much pleading which is the first and only time I've been able to get her out of her house. 

Then she moved in January, because her rental lease was up, and went across town which takes me about 20 minutes by car now. 

So a few weeks ago I started visiting her only on Tuesdays.  I call it Tuesdays with M.  I bring dinner in a picnic basket (somethng new) and I'm starting to teach her cribbage.  She loves cards and spends most of her time playing solataire on the computer which is the only thing she uses the computer for.  I spend about 3-4 hours with her now that one day a week. 

I started to notice changes.  When I first met her months ago, she lounged around in housecoats and sometimes looked a bit discheveled not fussing with her hair.  She's a tiny little thing with a shock of white hair that has a tendency to go in all sorts of directions.  She'd always apologize for not getting dressed even though I always called first before coming over.  She probably just didn't have any incentive. 

She isn't a cook and never offered me anything to eat.  Most of the time I don't think she had much in the house anyhow.  Usually I brought stuff over, little snacks or homemade goodies I had just baked. 

Then little bit by little bit I started to notice she was getting dressed up a bit and fixing her hair.  She started to look like a different person.  It wasn't just a little bit noticeable; it was huge.  Last week when she opened the door for me not only did she look like a million bucks I could smell she had even baked a pie (Mrs. Smiths) which was totally unlike her. 

I asked her last week if she was going to a wedding.  She was that dressed up.  She had on a nice pair of black dress slacks with a multicolored red blouse with a big old fashioned bow at the neck. 

When I leave she always says how much she appreciates the time and the food I bring and she seems disapponted that the time flew by so fast.  She is so used to sitting alone at dinner in front of the TV (for company) she's forgotten how nice it is to eat at the table with another person like this in a regular way. 

So now when I visit, she goes and gets the cribbage board and cards and we sit down immediately and start playing the first of three games before we stop to have dinner.  Then afterwards we play another two games before I have to leave to pick my husband up from working late. 

It really hit me last week on the way home how much of a difference I've made in another human being's life in such a way as never before and it got me to thinking that I will always stive to have an M in my life all the time.  

While I know, and have been told before, that the elderly really do appreciate company and fellowship (more than we know)  because most of the time they just feel old and useless, I now experienced it firsthand by seeing such a metamorphosis take place right before my very eyes. 

It's one thing to "know" something and quite another to "really" know something.  You know?