Today is Valentine's Day........ just in case somebody forgot.
We were married 26 years ago today. Yes, I know. It's sappy. It's gone by in a literal flash. I can't believe how fast time flies. I've been told it only gets faster as you age. So that means the next 26 years will be a blur I guess.
Anyhow I was thinking back about that day and wondering how my maid of honor is doing today. From time to time I think about her. I'm not sure life has been as kind to Patty as it has been to me. We took off in different directions a few years after I got married. Who knows? Maybe she settled down finally. But knowing her personality and talking with her family over the years I tend to doubt it. Even so, I wish her the peace that she never seemed to grasp.
We met in High School in the 70's. We were friends by default sort of. I was best friends with her two cousins who were sisters. We were a trio starting in my freshman year. We were called the Three Muskateers and we liked that. We were inseparable. Somewhere along my Sophomore year Patty and I started to connect somewhat. She was different than her cousins. Her cousins were good girls and Patty wasn't so much. She was like the wild child you hear of every so often. I guess I was attracted to that. She was everything I was not. I started hanging out with Pat more so than the two sisters from then on. .
Then Patty got pregnant. She was 15. It was a huge surprise especially to me. When the rumors started flying I defended her honor until Patty told me it was indeed true. I was shocked. I don't know why I was now looking back. But I was.
In fact she was the only one I knew that got pregnant other than a girl I had heard rumors about in grade school. Back then, in the 60's, it was hushed up and the girls were sent away to a Catholic Home for unwed mothers. Patty was not sent away at first anyhow. Her Catholic parents, who didn't believe in abortion, decided that she was going to go ahead with this pregnancy . The baby would stay in the family.
By this time pretty much most of the kids in school backed away from Pat. She was the one who got caught and a reminder that it could have been one of them. Our HS was three miles from a Maine beach. Lots of partying at the beach went on. I heard the stories. I wasn't allowed to go to many things back then although I sneaked to a few now and then. My parents were extremely strict and watchful especially of me. My brothers got a bit more freedom, but I was the eldest as well so you know how that goes.
So I was Patty's only friend. I didn't know what to say most of the time. I didn't even have a boyfriend myself so the whole thing to me was almost unspeakable. I was also very naive. Very.
So she was sent away to a girl's home near the end of her term, and I continued in Math class without her sitting next to me. I remember that. After she gave birth to Jennifer she came back to school our Junior year. She wanted to be on Rescue but her parents wouldn't or couldn't babysit so somehow I volunteered to sit for Patty's baby so Patty could go to the meetings and such. I'd get off the bus, walk down to Pat's house and her mom would leave the baby in my care until Pat got home. I remember her mom used to nag Patty about what a great friend I was and not to take advantage. I didn't care. It was what friends did.
Looking back now I can see how Patty used our friendship. During these times my mom was worried about my friendship with her. We had lots of fights about this. Like any mom knows, bad company can corrupt good character and soon Patty was going about her pre- pregnancy ways. The boys were coming around again and I found myself kind of out of the loop being Patty's friend inbetween the boys mostly. I was very naive.
When we were seniors some of her older boyfriends started inquiring about me. When I started working at a certain grocery store I met my first real long-term boyfriend. Patty took him aside and warned him not to touch me or he'd have to answer to her. I thought that was cool.
Then we graduated and I heard, by mistake, that Patty had an abortion earlier that year. I was not happy. First for not telling me and second for not learning anything after going thru the whole process with Jennifer. I was very disappointed in her but not enough to end a friendship over. We continued to be friends both entering the work force after school.
I held down two jobs, one full-time and another part-time. I was still living at home dating my same old boyfriend and Patty moved out of her house and got a rental in Portland. That's when she got really wild. Lots of guys coming and going out of her life. I took Jenny sometimes and when I got my apartment I had Jenny over for sleepovers so her mom could "go out." I felt bad for Jennifer. Her mother was too busy for her and Jenny was starting to show signs of stress. I could see that Patty wasn't maternal at all. She, in my opinion, never should have kept Jenny and I think Patty was thinking that as well. I didn't know what to do. I was 21.
Then I got married, 26 years ago today and I had Patty stand up for me. The boys came along fast after that and Patty would come and go in my life. One stormy night I gave her my favorite bible. Before that I never really spoke to her about God. I was just starting to wake up myself to His presence in my life and I wanted to share what little I knew with her. She listened hard and took the bible and for a while she read it.
A while later she married a really good guy. He was divorced. She and he set up housekeeping in a really cute house. It wasn't long before she ran into troubles with Glen. It was her, not him. I believe she had itchy feet. She had a good thing with him and she blew it.
So how did it end?
Jennifer got pregnant at 15. Patty was now a grandmother at 30. I asked my husband if we could offer to adopt this baby. He said no. By then we had three little boys. Jennifer ran away after her baby, a girl, was born and Patty shipped this new little baby to her mother yet once again to take care of another grandchild born out of wedlock. Patty's parents soon after moved out of state taking this little baby with them. Patty divorced her husband.
My husband, just starting his new tax business was asked to do their difficult tax return. He did and divided the bill in two giving them each a small bill to take care of mostly covering expenses. Glen, who we barely knew paiid us, but Patty stiffed us and we never heard from her again. She left town and moved down South to be near her parents hoping to start anew there. I was so upset that after sticking by her thick and thin over all the years she skipped town and stiffed us like that.
Last I knew she was working at Walmart and there was another guy.........