Yes, Virginia there is a place called Okahumpka and it's in sunny Florida. Say it slow with me.....OKA-HUMP-KA.
When my husband came home to tell me we were invited to a Christmas Party I was surprised it was so early. He'd only worked there two days. So I asked what every wife on the planet would ask......."How dressy is this party?" and of course, "Where is it?"
He didn't know so he went back the next day to get the scoop. He came home laughing. Maybe I should say he got the poop!! The Christmas party was going to be in Okahumpka and it was going to be in a cow pasture. Yep. With the cows. Wiith the cow patties. Well that takes care of the dress I thought. The only thing they advised for attire was that we don't wear good shoes because no cleaning up was going to be done beforehand. They were going to try and shoo the cows to the other side of the pasture but that was it.
So I dressed in my good jeans and my L.L. Bean rugged shoes and when I got there I was overdressed!!!
We parked the car out near the long gravel driveway and saw the tent way out in the pasture. As we walked our way there, I saw not only the cows in the distance but also very large homemade gifts left behind from nice said cows. I mentally calculated where these patties were located so that when we walked back to the car, after the party after dark , I wouldn't be unpleasantly surprised. "Stay on the high side" I said to my husband as I sidestepped with my eyes closely connected to the ground. "We should have brought a flashlight."
So after a nice catered meal of steak and chicken B-B-Q cooked right there on the premises we had a rousing time of Karoake. They had a big orange tractor they brought out with a Karoke machine on the back of it. When they asked me to do it first I replied "it ain't gonna happen." They laughed at my choice of "aint" but hey, I was at a Christmas party in a cow pasture...it seemed to fit quite nicely.
Eventually my husband was enticed or should we say pressured to go up with the other staff accountants to sing. The song? "Margaritaville" by Jimmy Buffet. Ooooooh I wish I had a camera. At one point somebody shouted to my husband asking if his lips were moving. Of course before the meal they asked him to say a blessing on the night and on the food. I was impressed with that because in Maine outside of church affiliation this never would have been done.
Before the singing started (if you call it that) the bondfire was lit. It was huge. As we were watching the fire, we started noticing the cows were coming. Before too long, these cows were circling the fire staying a little distance away but checking it out. it was pretty funny. I guess they had to see what all the commotion was all about.
As the pressure to sing or Karoake was on, a few of us were groaning about not wanting to do this and decided that next year we're going to do a Yankee Swap. I had to texplain the rules and there seemed to be an overwhelming "let's dump the Karoake and do the swap."
So this is the story of my first redneck Christmas Party. Pretty cool!! I actually enjoyed it. So does that make me a redneck?