A Mom, A Dad and their daughter
There's a big story in our neck of the woods here that you may have heard about. I know Doc has blogged on this. I'm not sure how widespread this is but it's big news here. It's a story about a bizarre kidnapping of a 19 year old woman by her parents.
The more that comes out the more incredible it gets. The parents were arrested and are now free on bail for trying to force their college age daughter to get an abortion. They were on their way to NY to force her to abort when the daughter who had hid her dad's cell phone used it at the first available opportunity.
These are not just ordinary parents but are very prominent in the community with no prior criminal record. They are well known as Real Estate developers who have done some major work in renovating historic places here in our state. They had done over $16 million worth of renovations here. Their daughter was well educated in a private school where tuition tops $19,000 a year. I'm sure she had all she wanted, maybe that was the problem to begin with.
Although the story has a bizarre climax the stress this family experienced could be any family with young adults. A counselor was quoted in our local newspaper as saying "Parents often struggle when they find they are losing their influence over adult children who still don't seem mature enough to make decisions that are in their own best interest. I think this kind of situation is not uncommon, any time people make decisions that their families do not approve of, there is going to be conflict."
The police report states that the parents became enraged when she told them she was 20 weeks pregnant. They then restrained her by tying her up, putting her in the car and headed for NY. When her father stopped in NH to buy another phone to replace the one he thought he lost, the daughter took advantage by using the bathroom and calling on her dad's phone she had taken earlier.
The boy in question who impregnated this daughter is a refugee from South Africa and is now serving time in jail for theft. He has previous convictions for burglary and receiving stolen property. The fact that he was black had contributed to her parents' rage. Earlier they had tried to intervene by sending her away to college at Georgetown University in Washington, D.C. but this young man followed her down there where they eventually were living together.
Many people are shocked at the arrest last weekend especially the people who have been doing business with them in the RE world. "They have been portrayed as villians and crucified here before anyone has heard their side of the story" said one who can't believe it.
"Often a child's entry into college is a particularly difficult time" said the counselor. "Students assert lifestyle changes and distance themselves from their families. They reject their parent' values, sometimes in extreme ways. In my experience the conflict more commonly results in estrangement," he said. "Everyone goes their own way for a while."
Technically, both states could prosecute these parents but that rarely happens I guess. Prosecutors from different jurisdictions typically negotiate with one another and decide which one has the more likely chance of a conviction or a tougher sentence. This could be also true when it comes to whether the state or federal prosecutors try this case since they crossed state lines while kidnapping their daughter. Typically the state will yield to the feds.
It's tough to know which side you should take in a case like this. I totally understand the parent's frustration but can also see they totally blew it in their handling of this matter. The daughter on the other hand as an adult surely was not thinking with her head here. I, as a parent, would probably pin her against the wall and ask her...."Exactly, what were you thinking?" But I also realize that the time of instruction is pretty much done. The parents had 18 years. Now it's too late to try and force your ideals on her. Besides force never works in the long run or as we see here the short run as well.
Live and learn.