I received this letter today from a friend and given all the flak on immigration; t hought I'd add it to the mix.
Dear President Bush:
I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and I
would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border from
the US into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements.
I know you can help with this.
I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas
and laws. I'm sure they handle those things down there the same way you do here.
So, would you mind telling your buddy, ElPresidente Vicente Fox, that I'm on
my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:
1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need,
whether I use them or not.
3. All government forms need to be printed in English.
4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.
5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.
6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag
pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.
7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to
government services.
9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort to
learn local traffic laws.
10. In case any Mexican police officers do not get the memo from El
Presidente Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.
11. I plan to fly the US flag from my house top, put American flag decals on
my car, and have a gigantic American celebration on July 4th. I do not
expect, nor will I appreciate, any complaints or negative comments from Mexican 'nativists'.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, and don't
enforce any labor laws or tax laws.
13. Please tell all the people in Mexico to be extremely nice and never say
a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on the Mexican
economy.
I know this is an easy request, because you already
do all these things for all the people who come to the US from Mexico.
I'm sure that El Presidente Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him
nicely.
However, if he gives you any trouble, I suggest you invite him to go quail
hunting with your Vice President.
Thank you so much for your kind help.
Sincerely,
David M. Bresnahan