Published on March 11, 2006 By KFC Kickin For Christ In Home & Family
My first child is about to be married in two and half months. Well he's actually my second son, but the first to be married. I can't believe it. Where has all the time gone? It feels like yesterday that I brought, what turned out to be, my smallest baby home eleven months after his big brother came to live with us.

It's like only months ago it seemed he went from Winnie The Pooh to GI Joes to basketball and football, not to mention four years in college now coming to an end. . Boy time goes fast. Really fast.

I've picked out the mother and son dance song thanks to HC and her help there as my music guru. She put her finger on it almost immediately. I heard this song, or one very similar 10 years ago at my brother's wedding when Brian was only about 12. I remember thinking I have to find this song when my boys get married. It's a tear jerker and one that spoke to my heart. I knew the minute I heard it when the tears started to flow. "Yup, this is it" I said to HC.

We've only known now for only about 6 weeks or so this was going to happen. He called us right after the semester started and gave us the news. Not a biggie in the surprise department tho. They have been dating since she was 15 and he 17; about five years now. The best thing I love about Amanda is she's crazy about my son even after all these years. Even tho I have reservations about how young they are, they have alot going for them including two sets of parents that are there to help in any way they can to make sure these two stay together through thick and thin. I know I will fight for their marriage like I do my own if I have to.

He'll be graduating 11 days before this and heading to Ohio after the wedding to start his new life in the Air Force with Amanda by his side. With little debt, a good income and a fresh start, they'll soon be on their way to wedded bliss.

There is so much to do......well if you're the bride's mom. This is one of those times I'm thinking I'm glad I have sons. Our job is to put on the rehearsal dinner. Not so bad especially when you have a friend that loves to put on dinner parties. So I can check that off my list. Next up? A dress.

What to wear, what to wear? Tthe colors of the wedding will be dusty rose and Navy to compliment Brian's new Air Force Uniform he will be wearing for this glorious day. So I guess lucious lime green and fruit loop pink will be out. I was thinking of black but didn't think that would look too great next to Bri's navy garb. Oh well plenty of time....what'd I say...two and a half months? Yikes!!!

I decided today to put together a scrapbook like they do nowadays. I've never done scrap booking before but I guess I'm going to give it a try. I've heard they can be quite time consuming. Can I finish this in time? I hope so. I decided to do one for each boy before they get married so they can take these memories with them to have as a keepsake.

I didn't think I'd cry .....that is before I heard the mother-son song. Now I'm not too sure. I thought my crying days were over when I sent them all away to college. As each one left, I....well.....I bawled my eyes out. I cried for 15 hours when my first one left. My husband was starting to get worried. I guess I was thinking only the mother of the brides did the crying. Oh well.

I think I'll look for a dress with a pocket.....big enough so I can put in a wad of kleenex. I may need it after all.




Comments (Page 3)
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on Mar 20, 2006

I'm thinking if it came down between Brian and an AF Academy graduate it may depend on who was doing the promoting with the edge going to the Academy grad unless the promoter graduated at VMI.

That's just it though the person rating Brian's performance isn't the one who decides if he is promoted.  All the board promoting sees is a code DP (DEF promote), P promote, or DNP (do not promote.)  Then there are like two lines of bullets, usually recommending what should happen next in his career path.  That's it.  No one will ever know he went to VMI unless he tells them, and he won't be talking to the promotion board ever.  They decide what to do based on performance reports.

In the other services it may matter, but in the AF it doesn't matter at all.  So Brian's performance once he gets into the military is what will count, and only that.  If say someone from a community college with a degree in English is in his field, they have exactly the same shot at promotion all the way to Lt Col because it is based on performance only.  Once Lt Col rolls around things change a little, but they aren't going to go back 15 years to see what Brian was doing then. They will look at his more recent accomplishments.

That is because military colleges are viewed as a way for students to learn discipline, not real world military knowledge. 

I know its disappointing to know this.  That is probably why a lot of VMI grads go into the other services?  Maybe it counts more in other services?

Brian sounds like a go getter, and honestly all the way to Major is a done deal as long as you aren't getting into legal trouble.  So he has around fifteen years to get all the schools he can, do a good job, learn all he can, so when Lt Col comes around he is on top of his game.

It doesn't sound like he will have a problem staying on game.

on Mar 20, 2006
Brian sounds like a go getter, and honestly all the way to Major is a done deal as long as you aren't getting into legal trouble. So he has around fifteen years to get all the schools he can, do a good job, learn all he can, so when Lt Col comes around he is on top of his game.


Ha, I can't keep the different ranks straight. Of course I know he starts out as a second and then goes to a first....then that's when I draw a blank. He called last night. He says he's going to Ohio in April. He wanted me to ask you about the "Prairies or the Woods?" It was very late when he called so I have no idea....thinking it's an area he's looking at? He also said that if he gets into the school program there at WP he'll come out of that as a first so he'd be skipping most of the second stuff he said. He just got back from DC listening to a bunch of generals speak.

Sounds like what you said is diff than the Navy. My brother, the Navy Pilot, has stories to tell dealing with that issue. I do know when they got to VMI on the very first day they were told HS was long gone and everyone here at VMI as Freshmen were all Rats. All equal, not one better than another.

It doesn't sound like he will have a problem staying on game.


Nope, he's quite the game player all right. That is a good thing............

on Mar 21, 2006



This is a picture of the new Wright Field housing..if it doesn't turn out have him check this link

http://www.wpafbhomes.com/#

Even if it turns out, this link will give him all the info he needs.  He can put his name on the housing list for on base (not the new housing)30 days before he gets to W-P for school. He put his name on the brand new off base housing list as soon as he gets orders. Which means he could have a house before he even gets here, because they will call him when one opens and send him pics and let him decide if he wants it.

There are contact numbers here as well.

I haven't spent much time on W-P but I have friends who lived on base before moving off.  All the housing for junior officers on base is older and close to the railroad track and the trains run about every 30 minutes until 11pm....and if that isn't bad enough, between the railroad tracks and housing is a 4 lane highway.  Very loud.

But when a couple doesn't have kids they can make due with just about anything.

This new housing area is also on a 4 lane road but if they don't get a house facing the highway it shouldn't be too bad....very small yards though.  Not a good school system either, but they don't have kids so they don't have to worry about that!

 

 

If he goes to the link above, he can get a virtual tour of the new housing...its pretty nice especially for people with no kids!
on Mar 21, 2006
I'm already looking at the new contruction, as well as that page. I know quite a few officers though who have lived at WPAFB and they all say to live in Beavercreek, right next door.
on Mar 21, 2006

I know quite a few officers though who have lived at WPAFB and they all say to live in Beavercreek, right next door.

I live in Beavercreek, its an affluent suburb with great schools.

But if there are no kids and no worry about schools, living in the new construction would be great because you won't find anything that new here for a 2nd LTs BAH.  Granted, you can rent a 1960ish house with a 1/2 acre yard in Beavercreek for little more than BAH, but they are hard to come by in the summer/fall time frame.  But there does seem to be an abundance of apartments, but I don't know much about them.  The ones behind Target are really nice.

The new construction costs BAH and utilities are included.  A nice perk when just starting out.  I know for us utilities run about $400-$500 a month for everything.  (Electric, trash, sewage, etc)

Hope this helps.

 

on Mar 21, 2006
Oh just an FYI.  The new housing is mixed ranks...meaning enlisted and officers in the same four plexes together.
on Mar 21, 2006
I know for us utilities run about $400-$500 a month for everything. (Electric, trash, sewage, etc)


Holy crap. Perhaps we've been out of the civilian world too long, but that figure made me gasp. Is that typical? Wow.
on Mar 21, 2006
Wow Tova,

Thanks for the info. I see Brian came on as well. I encouraged him to check this blog out last night with all the info for him to read. He mentioned Beavercreek to me a while ago as an area for him to check out. I guess he heard about it thru the grapevine. Wouldn't that be cool!! He may live near you. I hope that happens. Then I'll have two homes to visit in Ohio.

Holy crap. Perhaps we've been out of the civilian world too long, but that figure made me gasp. Is that typical? Wow.


I always wanted to ask this......what's so holy about crap?............

Ya, this seems high to me as well. We spend about 100 for electricity, 18 for cable, 20 for internet, we have great well water so we don't pay for that and we don't pay for sewage either. We are supposed to pay $1 per big trash bag but we take ours to work and dump in the dumpster. So that's free for us as well. So all in all including computer and tv we only pay about $140 and we're civilian. When all the boys come home tho my electric bill would be about 140. But in the summer it's much less. I can get it down to about $60.
on Mar 22, 2006

We have electric heat/ac, which is pretty common around here.  (Though our neighors paid $500 a month for gas this winter, so we pay less than a house with gas at least).  Our bills for heat were around $350 a month this winter keeping it at 68(some higher some lower) and run between $200-$300 a month in the summer for a/c (keeping it on 75).  So that's for heating and cooling averaging about $300-$350 a month.  Ohio gets VERY hot in the summer and pretty cold in the winter...its the dampness that makes it so pervasive.

We also have awesome well water but pay city sewage, $50 a month.  But most people pay for water and it runs for a family of three about $30-$40 a month.

Trash pickup depending on the company you use, $45-$65 a quarter, so about $20 a month after taxes.

So you can see it hits $400 to $500 very easy and I am not including cable, phone, and net.  That's another $150 for BASIC cable, digital phone (for unlimited long distance) and cable internet.  You can get these cheaper of course.

If Brian rents he will have to pay utilities.  Unless he wants an apartment, he is not going to be able to rent anything decent in Beavercreek on a 2LT BAH, he will have to pay above the BAH and then pay utilities.

If he lives in an apartment I think most of them still have you pay heat/air bills but I am not sure.

If he lives in new housing, he pays his BAH and no utilities, though that is supposed to change soon too but I don't know enough about it to comment here.

He has so many choices, I am sure he will find the perfect fit.

on Mar 22, 2006
Of course I know he starts out as a second and then goes to a first....then that's when I draw a blank


2nd Lt (aka 'butterbar')
1st Lt
Captain
Major
Lt Col
Col
General (and it goes up in terms of stars - one star, two star etc etc. I've met and talked with a 2 star here at Scott, and he was...well, he had an impressive personality)

Enlisted ranks go like this:

Airman Basic (AB)
Airman First Class (A1C)
Senior Airman (SrA)
Staff Sgt (SSgt)
Tech Sgt (TSgt - that's what my husband is)
Master Sgt (MSgt - that's what he tests for in a few months)
Senior Master Sgt (SMSgt)
Chief Master Sgt (CMSgt)

Hope that helps
on Mar 22, 2006
Hope that helps




ya, it does. Thanks Dharma. I knew just a bit here. This helps clear it up for me. What is a butterbar supposed to mean?

on Mar 22, 2006
What is a butterbar supposed to mean?


The insignia bars are yellow - hence the term 'butterbar'.

A good example of it's usage would be an article by one of the military bloggers that used to be here - "Hurrah, hurrah, they gave me a butterbar". He was a senior NCO, and he was tasked to introduce a 2nd Lt (butterbar) to the unit - he had to show him the ropes, so to speak. There's usually a big age difference between them - it's almost like they're parent and child. So, this man in his mid-30's to early 40's who has served his country for 20 odd years now has to answer to a 20 something kid who's fresh out of the academy or college and who has little to no life experience. See why that could cause some difficulties? Granted, Butterbars usually defer to the Senior NCO's experience, but IMO it's got to be a hard thing - having a kid that's the same age as your own child outranking you.

Sorry for the long explanation, I couldn't find any other way of having you understand what I was talking about!
on Mar 23, 2006
double post sorry
on Mar 23, 2006

That was a great explanation D.

Also butterbar is a term that announces to anyone who is listening...."newbie, inexperienced, probably has stars in his or her eyes, etc etc"

It can be derogatory, but mostly it is descriptive.

Lts (1st and 2nd) are usually over a flight to get experience leading a small group of troops (from 2-150)before they make enough rank to lead a squadron, wing, or base.  A lot of what they learn comes from that flight's Senior NCO's.  While the commander of the squadron will tell the LT specifically what he wants seen done and what he expects of the LT as an officer, the LT has to trust his Senior NCO's to get the job accomplished.

This usually works very well unless a Lt comes in thinking he is "in charge."  While "technically" he may be the top ranking person and if there is a problem with that flight he will be the one who suffers, his accountability is directly to the commander which means it can affect promotions...he should never lord it over anyone.

A smart Lt or even a Capt with no experience in that flight, will come in humble, listening, asking questions, and learning.  He will watch to see who performs the best and has the best judgment and knowledge and then establish a strong professional relationship with that person.

Because if the Senior NCO's think hes a know-it-all, they aren't going to teach him.  And if he doesn't have a good grasp of the job (obviously a general over view not the actual nuts and bolts) then he can't lead effectively...again going back to promotions.

I had a Captain once come in and tell my Chief MSGT to move his desk.  The Capt was just assigned to our flight and thought he should have his own office.  So he made the Chief move his desk out by the secretary.  Could he do this legally?  Of course and the Chief obeyed.  But officers rarely stay in a flight more than 18 months before they move on to another flight in their field.  Enlisted folks stay much longer and are considered the "get it done" people.  Officers are the arrows that point the way, getting this info filtered down from the top brass, and then the enlisted troops do it, and for the most part, do it VERY well.

But I can tell you this.  That Capt had nothing but trouble out of the enlisted folks from then on out.  They HATED him.  And they didn't do as he asked, oh sure enough not to get in trouble, but not above and beyond.  So he was constantly before his commander explaining why his flight was "marginal".  And he didn't get a def promote to Major because of it.  He still made Major later, but not the first time.  You get three shots, then you are out!

If Lts learn early to take care of their enlisted folks, listen learn and go to bat for them, they will go far.  The best leaders in the AF are really the best in SERVING their enlisted troops.  Anytime an officer starts believing the AF couldn't function without his awesome leadership, or the enlisted troops couldn't do their jobs without him, or that he has to remind someone to salute him because he thinks he "deserves" it......he's done.  Put a fork in him. 

If they don't get that experience leading a flight as a Lt, then they are behind and they are not on the "track" to becoming a commander.  Because by the time Captain rolls around a bunch of required schools come with it so the opportunity is not there as much to lead actual troops (but it depends on the field and how many schools are required.)

I think the best thing a Lt can do is check his pride at the door.....come in with his mouth shut, eyes open and a desire to serve his enlisted folks. 

on Mar 23, 2006
If Lts learn early to take care of their enlisted folks, listen learn and go to bat for them, they will go far. The best leaders in the AF are really the best in SERVING their enlisted troops. Anytime an officer starts believing the AF couldn't function without his awesome leadership, or the enlisted troops couldn't do their jobs without him, or that he has to remind someone to salute him because he thinks he "deserves" it......he's done. Put a fork in him.


This is so true and good advice for Brian to heed. This is not limited to the military either. This could be said of bosses in the civilian world as well. I bet the best officers are those that worked their way up from the enlisted or got out, went to school and came back and went via that route. They would know what it's like to be enlisted unlike that officer going in right from college.

My husband is a leader in his field. I've seen him as the boss of our CPA firm take a smaller office giving his much larger one to the new guy coming in that he just hired. He just did this again recently. He took his office now, gave it to his new assistant and is content using a card table in the next room. It means setting up and breaking down but he's ok with that. Many people have commented on his humbleness, and that is what makes people not only listen to him but follow him as well.

I wonder Tova if the military gets into this with these new Lts? I know Brian is going to a special officer training school in June. Do they cover this stuff? I hope so.
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