Going to the Chapel

Published on March 11, 2006 By KFC Kickin For Christ In Home & Family

My first child is about to be married in two and half months. Well he's actually my second son, but the first to be married. I can't believe it. Where has all the time gone? It feels like yesterday that I brought, what turned out to be, my smallest baby home eleven months after his big brother came to live with us.

It's like only months ago it seemed he went from Winnie The Pooh to GI Joes to basketball and football, not to mention four years in college now coming to an end. . Boy time goes fast. Really fast.

I've picked out the mother and son dance song thanks to HC and her help there as my music guru. She put her finger on it almost immediately. I heard this song, or one very similar 10 years ago at my brother's wedding when Brian was only about 12. I remember thinking I have to find this song when my boys get married. It's a tear jerker and one that spoke to my heart. I knew the minute I heard it when the tears started to flow. "Yup, this is it" I said to HC.

We've only known now for only about 6 weeks or so this was going to happen. He called us right after the semester started and gave us the news. Not a biggie in the surprise department tho. They have been dating since she was 15 and he 17; about five years now. The best thing I love about Amanda is she's crazy about my son even after all these years. Even tho I have reservations about how young they are, they have alot going for them including two sets of parents that are there to help in any way they can to make sure these two stay together through thick and thin. I know I will fight for their marriage like I do my own if I have to.

He'll be graduating 11 days before this and heading to Ohio after the wedding to start his new life in the Air Force with Amanda by his side. With little debt, a good income and a fresh start, they'll soon be on their way to wedded bliss.

There is so much to do......well if you're the bride's mom. This is one of those times I'm thinking I'm glad I have sons. Our job is to put on the rehearsal dinner. Not so bad especially when you have a friend that loves to put on dinner parties. So I can check that off my list. Next up? A dress.

What to wear, what to wear? Tthe colors of the wedding will be dusty rose and Navy to compliment Brian's new Air Force Uniform he will be wearing for this glorious day. So I guess lucious lime green and fruit loop pink will be out. I was thinking of black but didn't think that would look too great next to Bri's navy garb. Oh well plenty of time....what'd I say...two and a half months? Yikes!!!

I decided today to put together a scrapbook like they do nowadays. I've never done scrap booking before but I guess I'm going to give it a try. I've heard they can be quite time consuming. Can I finish this in time? I hope so. I decided to do one for each boy before they get married so they can take these memories with them to have as a keepsake.

I didn't think I'd cry .....that is before I heard the mother-son song. Now I'm not too sure. I thought my crying days were over when I sent them all away to college. As each one left, I....well.....I bawled my eyes out. I cried for 15 hours when my first one left. My husband was starting to get worried. I guess I was thinking only the mother of the brides did the crying. Oh well.

I think I'll look for a dress with a pocket.....big enough so I can put in a wad of kleenex. I may need it after all.

Comments (Page 2)

dharmagrl

on Mar 16, 2006

she's been warned but at 20 years of age, I'm sure she has no idea really what this entails.

Give her my email address (dharmagirl69@gmail.com) and tell her to drop me a line. I'm starting an 'introduction to the military' class for my husband's squadron and I'll be more than happy to explain the basics of military spouseship to her.

KFC Kickin For Christ

on Mar 16, 2006

Thanks Dharma I will. Are you at WP as well?

We just got news last night that three guys connected to a squad in Iraq are heading home.....STD's. We have a wife here living with her folks while her husband is over there. He's in this same squad but not one of the three. Their wives are furious and there is going to be some sort of repucussion for the men. I guess they are being dishonorably discharged.

I was wondering if that was the norm? Can you be discharged for getting an STD?

Tova7

on Mar 17, 2006

I was wondering if that was the norm? Can you be discharged for getting an STD?

Buwhahahaha.

No! If that were the case EVERY single guy I worked with in Asia would have been kicked out. And ~gasp~ most of them were married and didn't get it from their wives. Adultery is a violation of the UCMJ (Uniform Code of Military Justice) but rarely enforced unless a certain case is made "public."

Have your soon to be daughter in law check out www.afcrossroads.com the spouse's forum. I have a friend who posts there a bit and she says there is TONS of great info for a new spouse.

There are also classes offered at most bases called AF101 or something similar that she can get when she gets here that will get her a brief overview. It is advertised in the paper here all the time.

There is also brand new housing here at W-P. It's off base and open to the community. Upscale townhomes, but nice if you don't have kids. (Yards are tiny). If they get their name on the list for housing they might get one of those.

dharmagrl

on Mar 17, 2006

I was wondering if that was the norm? Can you be discharged for getting an STD?

Well, that all depends. It depends on their prior conduct and if they're married or not. If they are, then they've obviously committed adultery, which is in violation of the UCMJ and in itself is usually not enough to warrant a discharge. Article 15 (non-judicial punishment) is usually given for such violations, BUT....if the person in question has a history of violations or of discipline issues, then yes, they can be given an administrative discharge. Bad conduct and dishonorable discharges result from courts martials and are usually accompanied by some jail time.
So, going on the info you've given here I'd have to say that it sounds like the rumor mill is churning away and people are overreacting.

I'm at Scott AFB. WP was our second choice for an assignment, but a friend of ours who's very high ranking and very influential pulled some strings and got us our first choice.

Like I said, I'm more than willing to answer any questions you or she might have. I've been doing this military spouse job for 13 years, and became a Key Spouse in '99 - and during that time I've seen just about everything. Deaths, births, marriages, divorces, affairs, domestic violence, suicide attempts (and one that succeeded), surgeries, car accidents, kids removed from homes by social services, people being investigated for this and that and the other.....the list is endless.

Tova7

on Mar 17, 2006

Here are some pics of cool things to do here. Cincinnati is an hour south and Columbus an hour north. This is Cincinnati riverfest.

KFC Kickin For Christ

on Mar 18, 2006

Wow Tova, thanks for the pics. I never thought much of Ohio before all this and I'm sure we'll be there before we know it to check all this out. Have you ever heard of Alistar Begg? I hear him on the radio everyday here. I think he's from Cleveland. I would love to go and visit him as well. Also Ken Ham, the Scientist who is the head of Answers in Genesis is coming to Columbus in June. Do you know much about him? If not check out this Link He is my eldest son's favorite Scientist and is the leader in Creation Science. He is highly respected in his field and my son is in awe of him. Bobby would love to work for him one day. He''s coming here to the NE I think next month. I thought I heard he was building a creation museum in Cincinnatti but not sure if that's correct. If it's close enough it would be well worth bringing your son. I'm pretty sure he does a bunch of stuff for the kids.

Like I said, I'm more than willing to answer any questions you or she might have. I've been doing this military spouse job for 13 years, and became a Key Spouse in '99 - and during that time I've seen just about everything. Deaths, births, marriages, divorces, affairs, domestic violence, suicide attempts (and one that succeeded), surgeries, car accidents, kids removed from homes by social services, people being investigated for this and that and the other.....the list is endless.

Thanks Dharma, I really appreciate your willingness to help. I sent a note along to Amanda (she's down south with Brian) and hope to hear from her soon.

Brian's first choice was Edwards AFB but is happy about Ohio as well. That was his second choice. Wow 13 years, I guess your husband is staying in for the long haul. Brian said he's got a couple of friends that will be joining him at WP but they intend to do the four and get out to make better money on the outside. He's the only one I think that plans on staying in for life around him. VMI is probably a smaller version of what he will see in the AF. Lots of politics and stuff going on there as well. He saw Cadets get kicked out for various reasons, some he thought were legit others more politically motivated. He saw how quotas had to be met regardless if it was right or not. He's learning the ropes I think now but I'm sure he'll have much more to learn as he goes along.

dharmagrl

on Mar 18, 2006

Wow 13 years, I guess your husband is staying in for the long haul

He's staying in long enough to retire with a pension that's 50% of his base pay - at his current rank, he can retire at 20 years or he can stay for 24 years and then the AF maks him retire.

VMI is probably a smaller version of what he will see in the AF.

That's EXACTLY how it's going to be. Plus enlisted people and all the problems that come along with life on a military installation.

Tova7

on Mar 18, 2006

Have you ever heard of Alistar Begg

Yes, he is great. Never seen him, but he's on the radio all the time. Haven't heard anything about the museum.

VMI is probably a smaller version of what he will see in the AF.

Well, VMI is school. A military college. And while ROTC programs are great, they don't really touch on real military life. He will probably find the real military less formal...actually I am almost certain he will. Lots of AF Academy graduates make comments about how the AF isn't anything like the academy.

You will have to keep us updated and on his reactions to the differences...I think they might be entertaining.haha.

Dr Guy

on Mar 18, 2006

Well, VMI is school. A military college. And while ROTC programs are great,

VMI is NOT ROTC.

Tova7

on Mar 18, 2006

VMI is NOT ROTC.

I understand it is not ROTC...however, the AF DOES fill active officer slots from three catagories.
1. ROTC
2. AF Academy
3. OTS

They do consider VMI an "ROTC" program for classification reasons because it is not AF Academy and it is not OTS. Therefore her son will be considered ROTC. And no college, no matter how "military" is the military. The mission is different. The people are different. The expectations are different. Military colleges prepare one with discipline, but it is not the USAF.

KFC Kickin For Christ

on Mar 19, 2006

I didn't know this Tova. I do know that the school is run by the seniors pretty much and they go thru alot of politics and stuff much like the real life military but yes agree it will be different. How different? Not sure but I'm sure Brian will have lots of fun finding this out....heheheh.

I know one thing....he already knows how to handle the mind games. As a die hard chess player himself he knows he's a pawn right now in a real game of chess. Last I knew no one could beat Brian in chess. I hope this type of strategy helps him in the future. Sounds like he's gonna need it.

This past summer he went to some sort of training with other ROTC kids from regular colleges. They did not have the type of training that my son had at an all military college. They pretty much freaked out at the mind games being played. Brian did not react as planned because he had been thru 3 years already of this type of thing. By the end of this Brian was being called Mr. VMI.

One of the things done was food was planted in their dorm room after they were told they were not to have food in their rooms. If food was found they were to report it immediatley to the higher ups. One of these ROTC kids from a State School completely freaked out when an apple was found. He had to report it. Brian knew exactly what happened and he waited until the kid was behind closed doors being interrogated about this apple. At the opportune time, Brian walked in eating the apple. I can't remember the whole conversation but Brian ended up eating the evidence while the shocked CO's looked at him in amazement. All I remember him saying was "Can I have permission to speak sir?" Then he started interrogating them with so called innocent questions and statements after they granted him permission to speak, all the time eating the apple.

I'll have to ask him again how the conversation went but I remember it was pretty funny.

Tova7

on Mar 19, 2006

I didn't know this Tova.

Yeah. VMI is an awesome military college. IF my son's go there I will brag for LIFE..haha.

But yes, like the other military colleges, except AF Academy, it is considered ROTC.

This past summer he went to some sort of training with other ROTC kids from regular colleges. They did not have the type of training that my son had at an all military college.

Yeah I bet! HAHAHA. That's probably because some ROTC programs are just an hour a day class..with some weekend stuff and drills. But if a kid graduates at the top of that class he still comes in the AF same rank as someone who graduates top of his class at AF Academy and other schools.

Then there is OTS. Most of those people have NEVER taken ROTC and lots have no association with the military until then. After two months they are commissioned the same rank as someone who spent 4 years in a military college.

Weird how that works, but it keeps the pool of recruits diverse. And all 2nd Lts are created equal, no matter their history. It's like starting over.

One of the things done was food was planted in their dorm room after they were told they were not to have food in their rooms. If food was found they were to report it immediately to the higher ups. One of these ROTC kids from a State School completely freaked out when an apple was found. He had to report it. Brian knew exactly what happened and he waited until the kid was behind closed doors being interrogated about this apple. At the opportune time, Brian walked in eating the apple. I can't remember the whole conversation but Brian ended up eating the evidence while the shocked CO's looked at him in amazement. All I remember him saying was "Can I have permission to speak sir?" Then he started interrogating them with so called innocent questions and statements after they granted him permission to speak, all the time eating the apple

This is hilarious. But this is exactly what I am talking about. The real AF doesn't play games, it has a real mission and this kind of thing doesn't go on. People don't get in your face and scream at you, they don't play games, they expect you to do your job honorably.

When I was in basic training, all the yelling and games like you described above...I thought, "Wow I am MADE for this stuff!" When I got into my first assignment I was shocked and a little disappointed by how RELAXED the AF really is. I expected rigid codes and schedules like in basic.....hahahhahahaha. Nope. Nothing like that. As a matter of fact, if one comes out of basic training attempting to be so rigid they get shot down pretty quick. Does this make sense?

For example, in basic if you were fat you were told you had to lose it, if you didn't, good bye! You're out. So when I got to my first base, almost all the people I worked with were fat! I thought they were gonna be kicked out at first, they never were. Now if I would have treated them like I saw the instructors treat a fat person in basic, constantly riding them to lose weight, telling them they didn't meet standards, hahaha, guess what woulda happened? I would have been shown the door!

Military training of any kind is about taking an individual and teaching them discipline. Discipline is needed so when they get to the real military they can take orders and learn without "me me me me" getting in the way. So no one needs to yell, scream, and get in their face. OR manipulate things to get someone to obey or use their head.

That's all I meant. VMI is awesome and your son must be awesome to do so well there. The AF is lucky to get him!

Dr Guy

on Mar 19, 2006

They do consider VMI an "ROTC" program for classification reasons because it is not AF Academy and it is not OTS.

I understand. But that is like considering 24 karat gold, gold plated because you dont have a category for gold.

Tova7

on Mar 19, 2006

I understand. But that is like considering 24 karat gold, gold plated because you dont have a category for gold

HAHAHA

I think it has more to do with everyone starting equal as 2nd Lts. The AF doesn't care where you've been, just where you're going! ha!

KFC Kickin For Christ

on Mar 19, 2006

I think it has more to do with everyone starting equal as 2nd Lts.

Now this I knew. My brother told me this, his being a military college graduate going into the navy as a 2nd as well. But he did say that when it came to promotions it did matter what school you came out of at least from what he saw. I know VMI is thought of highly but I'm thinking if it came down between Brian and an AF Academy graduate it may depend on who was doing the promoting with the edge going to the Academy grad unless the promoter graduated at VMI.

Welcome Guest! Please take the time to register with us.
There are many great features available to you once you register, including:

Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the forums.
Access to a great community, with a massive database of many, many areas of interest.
Access to contests & subscription offers like exclusive emails.
It's simple, and FREE!