Senior Health Care Solution So you're a senior citizen and the government says no healthcare for you, what do you do? My plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 6 bullets... You're allowed to shoot 2 senators and 4 representatives.  Of course, this means you will be sent to prison, where you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head, and all the health care you need!  New teeth?  No problem.  ...

The old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee .     As he sat sipping his coffee, a pretty young woman sat down next to him.  She turned to the cowboy and asked,   'Are you a real cowboy?'  He replied, 'Well,  I've spent my whole life  breaking colts, working cattle, going  to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling  calves, bailing hay,   doctoring  calves, cleaning&nbs...

I know, I know, I'm making fun of the Dems but it's just so hard to pass up.  Sent to me by one of my ant friends!   OLD VERSION The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or she...

Have you ever told a little white lie?  Well this one is the frosting on the cake! WHITE LIE CAKE   Alice Grayson was to bake a cake for the Baptist Church Ladies ' Group in Tuscaloosa , but forgot to do it until the last minute. She remembered the morning of the bake sale and after rummaging through cabinets, found an angel food cake mix & quickly made it while drying her hair, dressing, & helping her son pack for Scout ...

Don't know who makes these up...from a friend who seems to find alot of these ditties taken out of context from the front pages of our newspapers...gotta laugh even so...   but the question begs to be answered...exactly how old do you have to be to be considered a codger?  JUST IN ... Democrats, realizing the success of the President's "Cash For Clunkers" rebate program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health Care Plan . Obama,&nbs...

The American Medical Association has weighed in on the new economic stimulus package.   The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.   The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve.   The Obstetricians felt there were all laboring under a misconception.   Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.  ...

Now this is one big nightmare!  Hope you have a sense of humor.  Sent to me by a friend.  The Nightmare In the nightmare I found myself nude in bed, and I was looking at a mirror on the ceiling, and I discovered that I am a Negro, and I'm circumcised! Quickly I sat up, found my pants and looked in the pockets to find my driver's license photo and it was that same color. Black. I felt myself being very de...

A friend sent me this story and I thought it was a hoot!!!!  GardenGrass Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous.   Yes, grass snakes , not rattlesnakes. Here's why.........   A couple in Baltimore, Maryland had a lot of potted plants.   During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing some of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.  It turned out that a little green garden ...

Sent to me by a friend with a question.  Who thinks this stuff up?    Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream has introduced a new flavor In honor of the 44th President of the United States ,   " Barocky Road ".   Barocky Road  is a blend of half Vanilla, half Chocolate, and surrounded by Nuts and Flakes. The Vanilla portion of the mix is not openly advertised and usually denied as an ingredient. ...

 This was sent to me by a friend. What A System In The US--Forgive And Forget -- Let Bygones Be Bygones... The rest of the world cannot understand how after bitter election campaigns, American politicians can return to reality. For instance, Sarah Palin has invited to her great state of Alaska the men who defeated her, Barack Obama and Joe Biden . She has provided a moose hunting trip for their enjoyment and has hired two other prominent men to assist them....

    You have to understand Alaskans have their own set of values....got this from a friend in VA....  The  Pope In Alaska The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the campground in the Pope Mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a 'Save the Whales' hat and a 'To Hell with Bush T-shirt, was ...

When my kids were little I loved to read them fairy tales and nursery rhymes.  Who doesn't remember the little Red Hen?  Well here's a new modern take on this old story.   Got it from a friend.   Once upon a time, on a farm in Virginia , there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered quite a few grains of wheat.     She called all of her Democrat neighbors together and said, 'If we plant this wheat, ...

The worldseems crazy right now between the crazy protestors smashing car windows and creating much havoc outside the RNC, the case of the missing three year old in our neck of the woods and the weather going bonkers all around us. Sometimes you just need a good joke to get your mind off things.   My husband sent this one.  The gals will like it.  Three men were hiking thru a forest when they came upon a large, raging violent river.  Needing t...

The Republican Fisherman   A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost.  She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below.   She shouted to him, 'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am.'   The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, 'You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level.  ...

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain ...