It Can't Get Worse Than This
Published on June 27, 2009 By KFC Kickin For Christ In Humor

Now this is one big nightmare!  Hope you have a sense of humor.  Sent to me by a friend. 

The Nightmare

In the nightmare I found myself nude in bed, and I was looking at a mirror on the ceiling, and I discovered that I am a Negro, and I'm circumcised!

Quickly I sat up, found my pants and looked in the pockets to find my driver's license photo and it was that same color. Black.

I felt myself being very depressed, downcast, sitting in a chair.

       But it's a wheelchair!!

That means, of course, besides being black and Jewish, I'm also disabled!!!

I said to myself, aloud 'This is impossible. It's impossible that I should be black and Jewish and disabled.'

'It's the pure and holy truth', whispers someone from behind me.

I turn around, and it's my boyfriend.

Just what I needed!!!

I am a homosexual, and on top of that with a Mexican boyfriend..

Oh, my God..... black, Jewish, disabled, gay, with a Mexican boyfriend, drug addict, and HIV-positive!!!

Desperate, I begin to shout, cry, pull my hair, and Oh, noooooo...I'm bald!!!

The telephone rings.

It's my brother.

He is saying, 'Since mom and dad died the only thing you do is hang out, take drugs, and laze around all day doing nothing. Get a job you worthless piece of crap... Any job.'

Mom?... Dad?... Nooooooooo... Now I'm also an unemployed orphan!

I try to explain to my brother how hard it is to find a job when you are black, Jewish, disabled, gay with a Mexican boyfriend, are a drug addict, HIV positive, bald, and an orphan.

But he doesn't get it.

Frustrated, I hang up.

It's then I realize I only have one hand!!!

With tears in my eyes I go to the window to look out.

I see I live in a shanty-town full of cardboard and tin houses! There is trash everywhere.

Suddenly I feel a sharp pain near my pacemaker.... Pacemaker?

Besides being black, Jewish, disabled, a fairy with a Mexican boyfriend, a drug addict, HIV positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, an invalid with one hand, and having a bad heart, I live in a crappy neighborhood.

At that very moment my boyfriend approaches and says to me, 'Sweetie pie, my love, my little black heart throb, have you decided what you are going to wear to Washington to see Obama.

Say it isn't so!!! I can handle being a black, disabled, one armed, drug addicted, Jewish homosexual on a pacemaker who is HIV positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, lives in a slum, and has a Mexican boyfriend,

but please, oh dear God, please don't tell me I'm a Democrat ...


Comments (Page 1)
on Jun 27, 2009

WOW.  (And that's not an "I'm proud of you, you're awesome" WOW)

on Jun 27, 2009

Hmm... seems pretty racist to me, but the end was amusing.

on Jun 27, 2009

I think it's funny.

But I really do have a sense for tasteless humour.

This reminds me of the picture of the Ethiopian (black) Jew at the 2006 Jerusalem gay pride parade who was carrying an Israeli and a rainbow flag. I am sure half the world hated him.

 

on Jun 27, 2009

one of my best friends here is black so it wasn't meant to be although I know you can't seem to make jokes about blacks anymore....or gays for that matter.  I've heard they're off limits.  We're better off making jokes about poor white guys or nice looking white female governors. 

That's why I said I hope you have a sense of humor first because I don't really have a racist bone in my body.  I also have Jewish blood in me but somehow I don't think anyone is going to pick out the Jewish part of this joke do you?  

on Jun 27, 2009

No you're right.  This joke was both hilarious and completely in character for you.

Don't male Jews have a prayer thanking God for not making them female?  I think this joke would appeal to them.  Heh.

on Jun 27, 2009

Don't male Jews have a prayer thanking God for not making them female?

Yes. It also thanks G-d for not making them non-Jews or slaves.

It thanks G-d for the opportunity to serve Him that comes with the duty to serve Him. That duty is in Judaism one that only male Jews have.

It's like thanking G-d for growing up in a poor family because it gave you the opportunity to start from nothing and learn more.

 

on Jun 27, 2009

So, it's thanking God for being disadvantaged by being born male?

(I was aware of the other parts)

on Jun 27, 2009

KFC Kickin For Christ
one of my best friends here is black so it wasn't meant to be although I know you can't seem to make jokes about blacks anymore....or gays for that matter.  I've heard they're off limits.

I guess just find it rather tasteless to insult entire demographics based on how they were born.

For me, I could care less if the demographic is Mexican or African-American.  It's how they were born.

on Jun 27, 2009

Imagine my horror at being married to a Mexican man.  What a nightmare!

on Jun 28, 2009

So, it's thanking God for being disadvantaged by being born male?

I wouldn't go quite as far, but yes, you may say so. It's thanking G-d for having been given the privilege to have the duty to serve Him.

It's said in the same vain as the polite answer when asked for a favour: "It would be an honour."

on Jun 28, 2009

I guess just find it rather tasteless to insult entire demographics based on how they were born.

I guess the point of the joke is that all these things really don't matter, EXCEPT being a Democrat.

 

on Jun 28, 2009

I guess the point of the joke is that all these things really don't matter, EXCEPT being a Democrat.

exactly.  You've got it.  All these other things pale in comparison and can be accepted to some degree, EVEN baldness...heh!  But being a Democrat has got to be the worst thing ever! 

 

on Jun 28, 2009

You don't get it.

on Jun 28, 2009

that was funny.

although...

Quickly I sat up, found my pants and looked in the pockets to find my driver's license photo and it was that same color. Black.

What is that supposed to mean?

on Jun 28, 2009

What is that supposed to mean?

It means that in this reality he always was black.

It's like Gregor Samsa checking his driver's licence to find that he had been a bug all along, I suppose.

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